seorang india yang g tmui tadi mengeluarkan satu statement yang cukup mbuat kpala g yang tadinya dalam mode gelisah dan quilty mnjadi berada dalam mode mrenung dan berpikir.
he simply said: "orang yang lagi dalam keadaan kecewa dan pait cenderung mencoba mngobati kkecewaan dan kpahitannya dengan *blank blank blank blank*"
statement yang ga lazim.
slama ini paradigma g adalah: orang yg kecewa dan pait cenderung melihat smuanya dngan kacamata negatif...
skarang si india ini menambah satu lagi perbendaharaan definisi di kotak file kepala g untuk label kata "kecewa"
dipikir2, statement ini cukup menjelaskan beberapa hal blakangan ini.
statement ini cukup menjelaskan bahwa nomatter what, I NEED TO RELEASE FORGIVENESS N NEED TO GO ON...
*kerutin jidat*
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
18.07.2008 - FriDAY-
those who were in my station today (who made my already melting brain leaked more): ian, jayson,chris, patricia, and jason.
couldn't help but felt a little dehydrated (physically n spiritually. see, those little kids getting together in my station EQUALS headache n shout outs!!!!
on my way back here, while driving, i kept on thinking:
"what the heck is going on???"
"how can i hate (with big capital H, mind u) this thing that once i loved so much???"
"sjak kapan apa yg dulu g anggep blessing brubah jadi nightmare stiap pagi n musibah??"
"sjak kapan g mulai melihat apa yang g lakuin cuma sbatas jadi tmpat pencarian n pengumpulan rupiah n pnambahan rekening stiap bulan dan ga lagi sbagai tmpat pembelajaran g as a better educator??"
"kmana idealisme u/ mbentuk better generation?"
"kalo aja nandis tau bhwa alesan g nunda2 ke lombok mulai jadi alesan n xcuse yg bahkan g sendiri mulai ga percayai lagi!!!"
jawabannya, slalu mengarah ke satu hal yang g sdah tau dari dulu.
*******sejak g jadi "brengsek"*******
yup, sikap hati n motivasi g jadi bergeser sejak g jadi "brengsek".
kebrengsekan g lately:
1. ignore this hungry desire inside to get intimate with U
2. nabrak stiap warning2 yg g tau ga boleh g lakuin... bhkan stelah g berusaha u/ taat, blakangan (until now) g malah akhirnya mnyesali apa yang g dah putuskan. see, i'm a jerk!!! cant i just be consitent???!!!!!
3. failed to see the big picture
solusinya cm satu: "BACK TO THE HEART OF WORSHIP N SEE ALL THE THINGS I DO AS I DO THEM FOR U NOT FOR OTHERS OR EVEN ME"
let me be better next week, Je..
j'taime
couldn't help but felt a little dehydrated (physically n spiritually. see, those little kids getting together in my station EQUALS headache n shout outs!!!!
on my way back here, while driving, i kept on thinking:
"what the heck is going on???"
"how can i hate (with big capital H, mind u) this thing that once i loved so much???"
"sjak kapan apa yg dulu g anggep blessing brubah jadi nightmare stiap pagi n musibah??"
"sjak kapan g mulai melihat apa yang g lakuin cuma sbatas jadi tmpat pencarian n pengumpulan rupiah n pnambahan rekening stiap bulan dan ga lagi sbagai tmpat pembelajaran g as a better educator??"
"kmana idealisme u/ mbentuk better generation?"
"kalo aja nandis tau bhwa alesan g nunda2 ke lombok mulai jadi alesan n xcuse yg bahkan g sendiri mulai ga percayai lagi!!!"
jawabannya, slalu mengarah ke satu hal yang g sdah tau dari dulu.
*******sejak g jadi "brengsek"*******
yup, sikap hati n motivasi g jadi bergeser sejak g jadi "brengsek".
kebrengsekan g lately:
1. ignore this hungry desire inside to get intimate with U
2. nabrak stiap warning2 yg g tau ga boleh g lakuin... bhkan stelah g berusaha u/ taat, blakangan (until now) g malah akhirnya mnyesali apa yang g dah putuskan. see, i'm a jerk!!! cant i just be consitent???!!!!!
3. failed to see the big picture
solusinya cm satu: "BACK TO THE HEART OF WORSHIP N SEE ALL THE THINGS I DO AS I DO THEM FOR U NOT FOR OTHERS OR EVEN ME"
let me be better next week, Je..
j'taime
Monday, July 14, 2008
HHHaaatttttssssyyyyiiiiii!!!!
In the morning
UHUGGGHH UHUGGHHH HATTTSSSSYYYIII!!!!!!
a student (a 2nd grader boy): *mengkerutkan kening* miss, i dont want you talk in that language again.
me : *srut srut ingus* what? what language?
the boy : that language. coughing. it's not polite!!
me : *senyum smbil nahan aluran keluar ingus* it's not impolite. it's called sick. and it means u r a human. now, go on with ur booklets, please!
late in the evening
a student called jetro: miss, are you sick?
me : *masih nahan ingus dan kpala yang mulai bdenyut2* yup, i am. so, becareful jehtro, this place it totally contaminated with viruses :-)
see, di lantai 2 enopi hari ini, 3 instructor (ms. Rosa, chandra, n me) kena flu n batuk akut. g mmutuskan u/ mengistirahatkan kubeni di garasi as i wasnt sure to drive it with this annoying headache this morning. di lantai 1, 2 orang kena virus yang sama. phhheeewwww, so many coughing n sruuuttt sruttt in enopi today...
UHUGGGHH UHUGGHHH HATTTSSSSYYYIII!!!!!!
a student (a 2nd grader boy): *mengkerutkan kening* miss, i dont want you talk in that language again.
me : *srut srut ingus* what? what language?
the boy : that language. coughing. it's not polite!!
me : *senyum smbil nahan aluran keluar ingus* it's not impolite. it's called sick. and it means u r a human. now, go on with ur booklets, please!
late in the evening
a student called jetro: miss, are you sick?
me : *masih nahan ingus dan kpala yang mulai bdenyut2* yup, i am. so, becareful jehtro, this place it totally contaminated with viruses :-)
see, di lantai 2 enopi hari ini, 3 instructor (ms. Rosa, chandra, n me) kena flu n batuk akut. g mmutuskan u/ mengistirahatkan kubeni di garasi as i wasnt sure to drive it with this annoying headache this morning. di lantai 1, 2 orang kena virus yang sama. phhheeewwww, so many coughing n sruuuttt sruttt in enopi today...
Sunday, July 13, 2008
G Blajar...
weekend ini g blajar satu hal usang yg dulu pnah g plajari dengan orang2 berbeda diwaktu bbeda dan skarang spertinya harus g plajari lagi.
g spertinya harus mulai blajar u/ membiasakan diri u/ tidak mndengarkan ringtone default nomor esia lo.
well, disela2 aktivitas g, dtngah keinsomniaan g, g sudah terlalu terbiasa u/ dicari dan di'ganggu'lo. terlalu terbiasa juga u/ mcari n m'ganggu' lo cuma u/ saling mbeberkan stumpuk hal2 ga penting.
well, ke'ciong'an lo n g jadi smakin kentel dan spertinya susah larut cair lagi y...
dimulai dari knyamanan dan rasa aman yang berubah mjadi asumsi dan kebetean. bukan cuma dari g, tp jg dari lo.
kebetean g mdengar (ini asumsi g) kepura2an dan kehati2an lo...
kebetean lo mdengar judgement2 g ke lo berdasarkan my past bad experinces yg g (secara sadar)timpakan k lo.
akumulasi dari asumsi2 dan kbetean yg hampir2 ga pernah terkomunikasikan buat kita asing.
we are strangers again.
suddenly, we've become two persons (labeled as brother and sister) who've got stucked in an ignorant zone :-)
euphoria sudah lama beranjak, ghin :-)
g spertinya harus mulai blajar u/ membiasakan diri u/ tidak mndengarkan ringtone default nomor esia lo.
well, disela2 aktivitas g, dtngah keinsomniaan g, g sudah terlalu terbiasa u/ dicari dan di'ganggu'lo. terlalu terbiasa juga u/ mcari n m'ganggu' lo cuma u/ saling mbeberkan stumpuk hal2 ga penting.
well, ke'ciong'an lo n g jadi smakin kentel dan spertinya susah larut cair lagi y...
dimulai dari knyamanan dan rasa aman yang berubah mjadi asumsi dan kebetean. bukan cuma dari g, tp jg dari lo.
kebetean g mdengar (ini asumsi g) kepura2an dan kehati2an lo...
kebetean lo mdengar judgement2 g ke lo berdasarkan my past bad experinces yg g (secara sadar)timpakan k lo.
akumulasi dari asumsi2 dan kbetean yg hampir2 ga pernah terkomunikasikan buat kita asing.
we are strangers again.
suddenly, we've become two persons (labeled as brother and sister) who've got stucked in an ignorant zone :-)
euphoria sudah lama beranjak, ghin :-)
Monday, July 07, 2008
last week
updates of the week:
* wawa is in the town!!! bw 3 babydoll batik, 1 tas batik, 1 syal, n 7 kotak ayam khas jogja titipan tongkee.
* dad's health nge-drop. well, rasa takut khilangan itu ada lagi. still, i'm not ready to let go.
* dah smingguan ga hang out ma anak2. sibuk ndiri2. tiba2 we just bcome strangers.
* nonton creative art festival di kmayoran. pas acara mo mulai, sbuah nomor im3 meng-SMS "g lagi bw mobil, g jemput y" g reply: "g lg di konser... next time j d" diam2 g bersyukur g pnya alesan konkrit u/ menghindar :-)
* enopi sepi... sering pulang cepet. n kamis kmaren stelah batal mo nonton bareng. kita berakhir di sandwich bakar lapiz.
* lately g muak ma bahasa2 basa basi. can't people just say what they REALLY want to say????!!!!!!!!
* wawa is in the town!!! bw 3 babydoll batik, 1 tas batik, 1 syal, n 7 kotak ayam khas jogja titipan tongkee.
* dad's health nge-drop. well, rasa takut khilangan itu ada lagi. still, i'm not ready to let go.
* dah smingguan ga hang out ma anak2. sibuk ndiri2. tiba2 we just bcome strangers.
* nonton creative art festival di kmayoran. pas acara mo mulai, sbuah nomor im3 meng-SMS "g lagi bw mobil, g jemput y" g reply: "g lg di konser... next time j d" diam2 g bersyukur g pnya alesan konkrit u/ menghindar :-)
* enopi sepi... sering pulang cepet. n kamis kmaren stelah batal mo nonton bareng. kita berakhir di sandwich bakar lapiz.
* lately g muak ma bahasa2 basa basi. can't people just say what they REALLY want to say????!!!!!!!!
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