another the wenges and the silverus gathering

the wenges and the silverus

one dinner nite after KTC session with the silverus (minus edoy)

cross present nite at Pizza Hut

href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_RMsl27hLv9c/SVD1mYtKXhI/AAAAAAAAAzg/6c00N4z5nf8/s1600-h/P8310255.JPG">

AnDrea's final novel of the Tetralogi of Laskar Pelangi

well, gatot lent this book to tongki...

i read it last weekend and my impressions were: boring, garing, anti climax... far --totally far-- from what i've expected before!
bagus g cm baru minjem, ga smpe beli ndiri... brasa rugi hehehehe


Note: ga da lagi halaman2 yang bikin senyum,ktawa,nangis,mendem aer mata,ktawa lagi, nangis lagi, senyum lagi n nahan aer mata over and over and over again gitu lagi... yang ada, slama baca g mikir: HEI, g lagi mo dibawa kmana ma andrea? dibawa k pjuangan garing a'la punjabi u/ nyari aling???
HELLLOOO, what happen to all the inspirations?

my personality colour

did this personality test from fb and that is what my personality color looks like :-)

let's sing!!!!

Got this lyric from Trishia...

Note: sing it with Santa Clause is Coming To Town"'s tune yaaaa :-)

You`d better watch out
You`d better not cry
You`d better keep cash
I`m telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.

It`s hitting you once,
It`s hitting you twice
It doesn`t care if you`ve been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town

It`s worthless if you`ve got shares
It`s worthless if you`ve got bonds
It`s safe when you`ve got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY

You`d better watch out
You`d better not cry
You`d better keep cash
I`m telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!

Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake, OH

You`d better watch out
You`d better not cry
You`d better keep cash
I`m telling you why:
Recession is coming to town

J'taime JE!!!!!

setting: wednesday after office hour
event: 40days Yoland's dad


listening to yoland's testimony on how she n her siblings cope with what YOU've decided to do to the family made me see the greatness of Your work that i (we) sometimes cant understand...

on the way back home, right through the rain, i didnt feel cold at all. though i was soaked wet, i felt surprisingly warm. warm as the fact that YOU are a great provider, Je... warm as i knew (and still know) at that very moment that I've surrendered myself to the right Person.

thank You for being faithful, Je...

I'm Yours. PERIOD.

IKAL!!!!! bukan KRIBO :-O

kata2 'kribo' belakangan sering kluar dr JG.

BO BO BO... DUNG DUNG DUNG

man, g ga kribo... g IKAL!!!!! :-)







Note:
setting: bangun tidur -- pagi2 -- suatu kamar
supporting character: *****
photographer: *****
mood: all that
and yang paling penting: my hair is QUITE FAR from KRIBO, ghin!!!!!!

another translation project

a couple of days ago, mr.Zenko sent messages telling me that he had sent some emails for another translation projects.

My response was: YIHAAA!!!!!

YOU are REALLY my PROVIDER, JE :-)

see, i was n am in a huge need of some additional projects just for the sake for increasing my account (DUH??!!!). well, not like i'm bankrupt or in short at all... i have enough, actually.

it just that i am so enthusiastic to prepare things for going back to lombok and build this vision of educational youth centre. lots of things seem to be Your ways to burn more fire in my already burnt heart to go.

well, while typing the file i listened to this PlanetShaker song called sent me,

nuff said :-)

Kita Tak Menari Bersama Lagi

part1

hari ini, tariannya mganggu tarianku...
gerakan barunya mbuatku lakukan gerakan menjauh...
dia mengikuti alunan lagu yang tak seirama denganku...
dan aku biarkan dia menari tak lagi denganku
261008



part2

kucoba mengerti irama langkah kakinya...
dengan kaku aku sesaat mampu mengimbanginya...
tapi TIDAK UNTUK SAAT INI...
TIDAK MULAI MALAM INI...
sudah saatnya aku benar benar BIARKAN DIA MENARI TANPAKU
12735

UPdates... so far

ME: on the run... so far :-)


dah 2 pagi ini g bangun lagi with a smile on my face... a smile as i'm loved by Your unconditional love, Je... Je, thanks for Ur ur present, fire, n annointing. thank u for Ur voice in my heart, head, n soul. thank u for sharpening the big picture of what i'm doing at the moment, for letting me see those children i see n meet 9/5 at office, for helping me see them the way u do...

j'taime




efek samping habis baca buku ini adalah: g brasa jenuh dengan monolog... g butuh dialog... dialog2 uplifting yang bisa buat g lihat hidup dengan lebih cerdas...





suasana kantor lagi panas... satu pagi on the way k kantor, pas lagi di fly over sunter, kpala g tiba2 memikirkan suatu tema kotbah ttng playanan bibir. playanan kata2. on that moment g mo jadi orang yang memadamkan bukan mengkompori...

banyak asumsi2 yang tercipta diantara kita dikantor n asumsi2 itu ga (tepatnya BELOM) dibicarakan... jadi gitu d, omongan2 ga membangun dan bernada negatif sering tercipta.

see, g brasanya bnyak ketidaksukaan dan ktidakpuasan yang tidak tersalurkan dari atas k bawah, dan gitu jg sbaliknya, dari bawah k atas. hasilny, bnyak orang yang pake topeng dikantor n it makes me feel uncomfortable lately...


g bdoa biar cepet rekonsiliasi, pemberesan, or whatever the name is so the spirit of unity is there again :-)


dipinjemin ms.rosa.

skali lagi, g disuguhi kata2 cerdas andrea yang bikin g melakukan perjalanan bersama seorang ikal dan arai... bersama mereka berdua, ditiap kata, kalimat, paragraph, dan bab khidupan mereka mnjalani pendidikan dengan keajaiban2 Ilahi, g juga bermimpi... bermimpi tntang suatu tmpat bernama GERUNG :-) You know what i mean, right, JE??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




g mau dialog, ghin... bukan monolog...

FSNGJ (FridaySaturdayNiteGaJelas)

FRIDAY NITE

setting: ruang tunggu lantai dua RS.Mitra Keluarga Gading after office hour

Main characters: the owner of 021-9890**** & Anastneeta

Supporting characters: Yoland, Erwin, ,Ocha, Joseph, Renoy, Makmur, William, Deska, Echi, Depot, and others from Yoland's relatives

Plot:

*** nomor esia yang sudah lama ga pnah muncul baik di inbox/call register tiba2 muncul...

*** (sharusnya ga g angkat) tp g angkat n mulai dibeberkanlah fakta bahwa the owner of 021-9890**** sedang akan menghabiskan akhir pekannya di kemayoran untuk sbuah liputan race...

*** sebuah kram otak dimulai sjak pmbicaraan ditelepon usai!!!!!


SATURDAY NITE

setting: KTC- TIM21 n TIM's terrace until 3 a.m

main characters: Anastneeta & JG

plot:
*** watched (again) LP...
*** spent hours just talk bout irrational n unimportant stuff just for the sake of killing the nite...


Note: i'm THankful that he spent the nite with me... thanks for being my safety net that helps me not to make something i know i will regret!!!

to JG:
g blm bilang lo, tp kata2 lo senada ma kata2 nandis siang sebelumnya... walopun di konteks yang beda--nandis bicara ttng konteks relationship, n lo komentarin lirik teks lagu Mr. Brightside... tentang "PAY THE PRICE"... I need to pay the price to get my life back into the right track again!

ode to all my fav. hats

this light cappochinoish hat had been with me for years...i used to take it everytime n everywhere i travelled around... it had covered n added a more hip-hop look. i lost it in koal, though.



got this black hat in a vintage market in melbourne. see, it perfectly matched my activities as a face n body painter.


see the one with that too-tiny hat over there??? it's me with that blue hat :-) well, muzz gave this too-little-blue hat while we were doing daytrips back and forth to the suburb of melbourne. it's too small, actually, yet, to respect his kind attitude, i wore it just only in this event :-)

this week --stahun yang lalu

setting: last year

characters: stella--evan--me

plots: BANCI BAZAR++




photos taken @ artha gading 1st floor...

ode to "the plastic flat shoes" i once loved so much...

this pair of shoes was bought months ago in itc while i was going to meet DC there. they were so comfy that i almost wore them everywhere i go. even to enopi :-)

i dug them for their practical mode in almost every situations. i still could wear them through the annoying muddy sunter's streets :-P

well, they've just got useless 3months ago and were replaced by a pair of noche's and yongki's.

eniwei, i've been seeing mbak Narti (the OG in my office) wearing them. i've been asking her to get one pair for me, yet, it seems like they are not around in any stores now.

mungkin ini yang ditto maksud makro ga ya???

vedi

vintage n flea market shopping moment

setting: rencananya metro pasar baru -- ganti jadi senen
supporting character: poca

foto2nya nyusul y... belom sempet dipindahin k usb :-)

belanja smbil brutal makan :-) @ kemang festival

crunches from festival kemang

kamera g ktinggalan di rumah, fortunately, heru bw kamera yang judulnya "kamera nyokap"

well, here r some crunches left from hunting barang + makanan @ fest.kemang...

countdown to 12 aug...

baru ngeh (bener2 NGEH) kl skarang dah masuk agustus.

ga tau knapa, swaktu lagi ngetik2 di leptop, g tertarik u/ mnarik keluar satu buku kecil dari tumpukan buku2 di sbelah kiri meja hanya untuk menemukan satu puisi yang g buat 4 tahun lalu....

hari ini, sblum ngantor, stelah g baca2 lagi puisi 4 thun lalu itu, g baru NGEH lagi kalo ini puisi ditulis tepat tanggal 5 agustus 4 thun lalu... tepat sminggu sbelom 12 aug :-)

puisi ini jadi sperti pnyambung g yg skarang n g yg dulu. jadi pemotivator jg bhw g dah harus banting setir dari track yg g kekeh lewatin sampai saat ini...

statement of the day

seorang india yang g tmui tadi mengeluarkan satu statement yang cukup mbuat kpala g yang tadinya dalam mode gelisah dan quilty mnjadi berada dalam mode mrenung dan berpikir.

he simply said: "orang yang lagi dalam keadaan kecewa dan pait cenderung mencoba mngobati kkecewaan dan kpahitannya dengan *blank blank blank blank*"

statement yang ga lazim.

slama ini paradigma g adalah: orang yg kecewa dan pait cenderung melihat smuanya dngan kacamata negatif...

skarang si india ini menambah satu lagi perbendaharaan definisi di kotak file kepala g untuk label kata "kecewa"


dipikir2, statement ini cukup menjelaskan beberapa hal blakangan ini.

statement ini cukup menjelaskan bahwa nomatter what, I NEED TO RELEASE FORGIVENESS N NEED TO GO ON...

*kerutin jidat*

18.07.2008 - FriDAY-

those who were in my station today (who made my already melting brain leaked more): ian, jayson,chris, patricia, and jason.

couldn't help but felt a little dehydrated (physically n spiritually. see, those little kids getting together in my station EQUALS headache n shout outs!!!!

on my way back here, while driving, i kept on thinking:

"what the heck is going on???"

"how can i hate (with big capital H, mind u) this thing that once i loved so much???"

"sjak kapan apa yg dulu g anggep blessing brubah jadi nightmare stiap pagi n musibah??"

"sjak kapan g mulai melihat apa yang g lakuin cuma sbatas jadi tmpat pencarian n pengumpulan rupiah n pnambahan rekening stiap bulan dan ga lagi sbagai tmpat pembelajaran g as a better educator??"

"kmana idealisme u/ mbentuk better generation?"

"kalo aja nandis tau bhwa alesan g nunda2 ke lombok mulai jadi alesan n xcuse yg bahkan g sendiri mulai ga percayai lagi!!!"

jawabannya, slalu mengarah ke satu hal yang g sdah tau dari dulu.

*******sejak g jadi "brengsek"*******

yup, sikap hati n motivasi g jadi bergeser sejak g jadi "brengsek".

kebrengsekan g lately:
1. ignore this hungry desire inside to get intimate with U
2. nabrak stiap warning2 yg g tau ga boleh g lakuin... bhkan stelah g berusaha u/ taat, blakangan (until now) g malah akhirnya mnyesali apa yang g dah putuskan. see, i'm a jerk!!! cant i just be consitent???!!!!!
3. failed to see the big picture

solusinya cm satu: "BACK TO THE HEART OF WORSHIP N SEE ALL THE THINGS I DO AS I DO THEM FOR U NOT FOR OTHERS OR EVEN ME"

let me be better next week, Je..

j'taime

HHHaaatttttssssyyyyiiiiii!!!!

In the morning
UHUGGGHH UHUGGHHH HATTTSSSSYYYIII!!!!!!

a student (a 2nd grader boy): *mengkerutkan kening* miss, i dont want you talk in that language again.

me : *srut srut ingus* what? what language?

the boy : that language. coughing. it's not polite!!

me : *senyum smbil nahan aluran keluar ingus* it's not impolite. it's called sick. and it means u r a human. now, go on with ur booklets, please!


late in the evening
a student called jetro: miss, are you sick?
me : *masih nahan ingus dan kpala yang mulai bdenyut2* yup, i am. so, becareful jehtro, this place it totally contaminated with viruses :-)


see, di lantai 2 enopi hari ini, 3 instructor (ms. Rosa, chandra, n me) kena flu n batuk akut. g mmutuskan u/ mengistirahatkan kubeni di garasi as i wasnt sure to drive it with this annoying headache this morning. di lantai 1, 2 orang kena virus yang sama. phhheeewwww, so many coughing n sruuuttt sruttt in enopi today...

G Blajar...

weekend ini g blajar satu hal usang yg dulu pnah g plajari dengan orang2 berbeda diwaktu bbeda dan skarang spertinya harus g plajari lagi.

g spertinya harus mulai blajar u/ membiasakan diri u/ tidak mndengarkan ringtone default nomor esia lo.

well, disela2 aktivitas g, dtngah keinsomniaan g, g sudah terlalu terbiasa u/ dicari dan di'ganggu'lo. terlalu terbiasa juga u/ mcari n m'ganggu' lo cuma u/ saling mbeberkan stumpuk hal2 ga penting.

well, ke'ciong'an lo n g jadi smakin kentel dan spertinya susah larut cair lagi y...

dimulai dari knyamanan dan rasa aman yang berubah mjadi asumsi dan kebetean. bukan cuma dari g, tp jg dari lo.

kebetean g mdengar (ini asumsi g) kepura2an dan kehati2an lo...

kebetean lo mdengar judgement2 g ke lo berdasarkan my past bad experinces yg g (secara sadar)timpakan k lo.

akumulasi dari asumsi2 dan kbetean yg hampir2 ga pernah terkomunikasikan buat kita asing.

we are strangers again.

suddenly, we've become two persons (labeled as brother and sister) who've got stucked in an ignorant zone :-)

euphoria sudah lama beranjak, ghin :-)

last week

updates of the week:
* wawa is in the town!!! bw 3 babydoll batik, 1 tas batik, 1 syal, n 7 kotak ayam khas jogja titipan tongkee.

* dad's health nge-drop. well, rasa takut khilangan itu ada lagi. still, i'm not ready to let go.

* dah smingguan ga hang out ma anak2. sibuk ndiri2. tiba2 we just bcome strangers.

* nonton creative art festival di kmayoran. pas acara mo mulai, sbuah nomor im3 meng-SMS "g lagi bw mobil, g jemput y" g reply: "g lg di konser... next time j d" diam2 g bersyukur g pnya alesan konkrit u/ menghindar :-)

* enopi sepi... sering pulang cepet. n kamis kmaren stelah batal mo nonton bareng. kita berakhir di sandwich bakar lapiz.

* lately g muak ma bahasa2 basa basi. can't people just say what they REALLY want to say????!!!!!!!!

hhhmmmmmmm *kening bkerut*

rapuh. TITIK

29-me Today

The Gift of 24 Hours...
Suppose, neck deep in a tough day, you resolve to give it a chance. You choose not to drink, work, or worry it away. Instead, you decide to give it a fair shake. You trust more. Stress less. Amplify gratitude. Mute complaints. Before long the day is done and surprisingly decent.

So decent, in fact, that you resolve to give the next day the same fighting chance. Despite hang-ups and bang-ups, giving the day a chance works! You do the same the next day, and the next. Days become a week. Weeks become months. Months become years of good days.

I have one goal in this book: to help you have a good day every day. After all, doesn’t every day deserve a chance to be a good one?

Max Lucado


"i'm walking to the 29ish zone with U :-) giving everyday a chance for U to reveal Urself more n more... J'Taime!!!!"

let's laugh!!!!!!!!!

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S.S.M.G (sabtu siang mati gaya)

sabtu, 07 june 08

call it pms.. call it a drop mood.. call it bad day. i dont really care what the title is.

default setting hari ini terarah k vintage shopping n it got cancelled. setting bergeser ke setting "mati gaya".

Jepretan2 yg masih tersisa dari usb yunee

beberapa jepretan dari hp chris yg lama ksimpen di notebook yunee baru bisa smpai di tangan g tadi sore.

rute: fatahillah -- musium wayang -- ancol -- roti bakar iis

chicken wings flying

"chicken wings flying, high in the sky"
this one short lyrics of a self-made song was the very last thing i heard before i got a wrap-up at the second floor.

the creator was: alex tan. a 10-year-old boy who happens to be one of my fav. he is labelled as a mild dislexia patient. hates english classes. loves math that he comes 4 times in a week (which was a hot discussion bween ms. irene n miss.etta), tends to mumble n hum during his math sessions, muttering those word above with funny chicken movement :-)

now those words got stuck in my brain.

my last reading

find this book di rak2 buku kamar tongkee. stelah ditilik2 n diinterogasi tnyata ni buku dia beli bajakan di jalan sabang.

HHHAAAAHHHHHH????

tongkee??

beli buku bajakan??

it's a big no no for her, rite?!!!!

eniwei, g baca2 ni buku. smpet terharu, ketawa, prihatin n terharu lagi, ketawa lagi n prihatin di beberapa lembar halamannya.

and, karena ni buku bajakan, ada halaman2 yg ilang n beberapa bab kebalik2 gt halamannya.

smakin menguatkan niat untuk beli yang asli ajah dibanding g emosi jiwa ga ngikutin maksimal plot n alur cerita si ikal n teman2nya :-)

fatahillah at nite... after midnite tepatnya :-)

more of the "back to the oldies"

back to the oldies #3

bakoel coffee

kronologis: ir @ KTC -- dinner di pinggir danau sunter -- dan stelah memutuskan bhwa masih terlalu dini untuk pulang ke rumah, kita mmilih untuk muter2 sbentar. destinasi slanjutnya adalah TIM... and terdamparlah kita di bakoel coffee dket2 TIM. interiornya oldies. sesuai ma tema oldies kita spanjang bulan ini. well, fyi, this is the nite befor besoknya we went to fatahillah in the daylight for THE VERY FIRST TIME.

more of back to the oldies :-)

back to the oldies

T.G.I.F

*hungry*

===smpet k KTC bentar liat anak2 latihan drama.. brharap bisa nongkrong dimanaaa gitu tonight ma mereka, but ga bisa coz mereka gi harus prepare drama for next sunday... mpe mo nginep di dea gt===

T.G.I.F!!!!!!!!


cuma g ja yang brasa bhwa hari2 n tanggalan di kalender cepet banget majunya.

rasanya relief (karna smakin deket payment time) waktu sadar hari ini sudah weekend kedua di bulan mei dah tanggal sebelas pula.... dan berasa scared krna nyadar juga g sudah smakin mndekati juni (satu umur yang bertambah rasanya cukup bikin miris dan lumayan bikin g ngerutin jidat n majuin bibir -- dalam pengertian jadi mikir blueprint n goal setting :-( )dan smakin deket akhir tahun -- which is smakin nambah kerutan di jidat n nambah beberapa inchi manyun mulut g dalam "mikir serius mode".


eniwei, rabo malem kmaren, bis mandi after a killing me softly nite, g mutusin untuk puasa.

puasa hp.

u/ yang kesekian kalinya, g ngeh n sadar sesadar2nya bhw 2hp dngan 2 nomor ini bikin waktu komunikasi g lebih bnyak horisontal dibanding vertikal.

2 provider yang kasih kemudahan n kemurahan harga nelp n sms bikin traffic komunikasi n sms g k nomor2 tertentu melewati limit yang sharusnya. limit waktu yang sharusnya bisa g pake u/ lebih komunikasi vertikal ma Je lbih bnyak kebuang n tersita u/ bnyak hal yang bukan Je.

ga bisa totally turn off my cell phone seh, tp at least i turn the frequency down.

g bdoa n bharap waktu g komitmen u/ mematikan, menghilangkan, or at least mengurangi suara2 n aktifitas yang buat prioritas g cukup brantakan ga jelas blakangan ini, g bisa denger suaraMu lebih lagi, g bisa ngatur n nata hati g lebih jelas lagi.

terkubur dalam emosi, tanpa bisa bersembunyi, aku dan nafasku merindukanmu...inikah yang Kau mau, benarkah ini jalanMu, hanyalah Engkau yang kutuju, pegang erat tanganku, bimbing langkah kakiku, aku hilang arah tanpa hadirMu... dalam gelapnya malam hariku... *Letto's sandaran hati*

*senyum*
*kriuk kriuk*
*still hungry menjurus starving*

eniwei, lega g dah masuk hari jumat. meaning,= i cant cool my exhausted brain, body, and soul down for a while... get them refreshed and get myself ready for the next week.

P.S.
tadi pagi sblum kram otak menghadapi anak2, smpet ngobrol ma nandis. damn, g NGIRI total akut ma fakta bahwa dia lagi melakukan apa yang dua tahun lalu g lakukan n g akhiri agustus kemaren. pertanyaan dia "apa kabar hati nurani lo?" nonjok g... bukan fisik n jiwa g yang ketonjok.... spirit g terkapar.

uuuggghhh beda lokasi geografis dengan perbedaan waktu yang memang tidak signifikan tetep ga bisa menghalangi dia u/ bikin g speechless. speechless ga bisa jawab ptanyaan2 n komen2 dia.

kapan g nyusul adalah the next question. bukan dari dia, tp dari g.

the state of today... *smile*

dresscode:
roxy's jeans -- black sweetshirt -- black tanktop -- noche high heels -- red sea shell necklace -- flowery silver ring -- black framed glasses

mood:
ecstatic -- thankful -- a little starving -- a lot in love -- smiley *cant wipe this stupid wide grin outta my face*

OST:
beyonce's irreplaceable -- avril's girlfriend -- usher's yeah -- riana's umbrella -- dont know's too much love will kill u --

shaking my milk so far:
* anton "trouble" is in town!!! yihaaa!!! it's time to make trouble again, ton... enough trouble in aceh, now let's make some more here in batavia hehehehe see u on the weekend yo!!!

* derrick was in a really in a great mood this evening. it's bcoz of the morning sate, of course!!! most of the english kids today brought a wide smile on my oily face. thanks Je!!

* got into a conversation with miss irene. it's always great to hear any comment, input, or whatever from ur boss, isnt it? :-)

* rite when i couldnt hold my starving bulging stomach no more, there was miss eta telling me that Tante had brought some abon bread for all of us!!!! it's so relieving that someone ACTUALLY realize that I NEED SOME FOOD :-)

* on the way from sportsmall here, i noticed beautiful thunderstorm/lights for several times... AWESOME!!!! there i was speechless on the blackseat of my vario. so glorious u r Je!!

MEI @ millenium 2K8

*sigh*
*smile*
*smile wider*

hari ini tanggalan sudah masuk ke 01 mei. and, it is a total day off!!!!!!!!!

stengah diri g cukup amazed sama fakta bhwa g sudah ada di bulan 5 thun ini..

let's wrap up what's been going on to me in april...

spanjang bulan kmaren g blajar buat love what i do n do what i love. stelah mengalami burnt out (a huge burnt out) -- miss rosa bilangnya "crashed spirit n soul" -- g baru bisa merefresh n recharge ulang spririt g 2 malem lalu. see, g cukup brasa fed up sama rutinitas g shari2, rutinitas yang bikin g lupa apa purpose dan alesan g lakuin apa yang sedang g lakuin :-) blur'nya visi g, gelapnya tujuan g, ga jelas n ga kliatannya

kram otak g hari ini

kmaren sore, hmpir ja g mmutuskan u/ ngelakuin sesuatu yang bodoh.

sore2, jam 5'an dia nelp : kkos'ku yuk. aku masih ngerjain urusan bentar di kantor. bntar lg slese. jam 7'an d smpe kos.
g : mmmmm, ntar y, g mandi dulu.
dia : jadi ga jadi kabarin aku y.
g : yup!
dia : tp mau kan?
g : he'eh... g mandi dulu y...


ga lama lagi mo siap2 jalan, tongkee balik dari bandung dngan skantong cemilan, 2 kantong blanjaan (new cargo pants n black T-shirt yang bisa g pinjem :-P).

ngbrolin bandung, ngunyahin cemilan2, nyobain blanjaan ma dia jadi bikin mood ilang buat k kos'an dia (mood ilang, tp mupeng **** tetep ada).

blakangan, setting kamar kos dia ganggu kewarasan g. ditambah, tb2 dia sms just bilang kangen.

DAMN!!!

satu sisi g kgoda (sangat sangat sangat tergoda) u/ skedar ngulang yg dulu. satu sisi lagi, g ga mo lagi ngerasain perasaan bersalah yg bhkan butuh bulanan u/ meng-erasenya.

i was n am thankful that i didnt follow what my **** desire!!!!!!!!

perjalanan ke kota tua jakarta

sudah dua mingguan ini g suka spend time (LOTS of time) di bilangan kota. tepatnya di daerah batavia. smua dimulai dari keluarnya SP2 karna g, renoy, n chris blom bisa merem di kasur dan memutuskan u/ kill the nite di plataran fatahillah. SP2 jadi brlanjut ke SP3 waktu kita bertiga plus devi spend time di bakoel koffie deket TIM. interior tempat ini jg masuk kategori oldies.

here are some pics yang dah ktransfer k USB g...

masih bnyak yang blom smpet ksimpen di USB, secara bnyak kodak moments yang masih tercecer di hp devi n chris.

ulasan spanjang minggu kemaren.

*smile*

hei, blogspot dah ga tlalu lama lagi hari ini. spanjang minggu kmaren, hnya u/ posting aja, bs satu jam'an baru bisa masuk. hari ini, it happens in just a split minutes hehehe

aniwei, here are some highlights from the previous week (23feb - o1mar'o8):

# g mulai aktif di wb, which is great!!!!!

# mulai dari hari rabu kmaren, g dah mulai teach bahasa indonesia ke satu orang warga kuwait named: mr. ali. he is a tipycal kuwaitan business man who needs n is so eager to be able to master bahasa indonesia. upppzzzz, rada nampar diri g sndiri, secara notabene, dlm sehari, bhkan g jarang bicara pakai bahasa indo. rasio persentasinya sama bahasa inggris n bhasa tubuh mendekati 70%-30% hehehe...

makanya lagi suka nulis pakai bhasa indo yang sbenernya lebih kaya (with kapital K) makna n arti :-) bhasa inggris juga seh, tapi, g lagi kagum sm blog "penari mungil" yang buat g indah bnget penuturannya dlam bahasa.

kembali ke Mr. Ali... ngajar dia kaya ngajar baca anak SD. tp seru, krna g bisa blajar cross culture orang timur tengah. kadang, ditengah2 break session, kita suka ngobrolin bedanya jakarta n kuwait.

satu fakta n informasi penting so far dari dia adalah: bhwa dalam sehari, kuwait bisa berubah cuaca, dari yang panas 75derajat C smpe minus 2derajat C. dia pernah dari supermarket lupa bawa masuk ke dalam rumah n tanpa sadar meninggalkan telor2 itu di dalam mobil. dalam jangka waktu kurang dari 2 jam, waktu dia inget u/ ngambil lagi, dia menemukan telor2 itu dalam keadaan mateng... kaya kerebus gt!!!!!

informasi penting lain adalah: sperti negara2 timur tengah, kuwat sangat sangat sangat (g dah cukup bilang sangat belom???) berdebu. so, pesan moral dari interaksi g ma dia sejauh ini adalah: pastikan g ga ke kuwait kalo ga perlu2 banget!!!! gue??? dan debu??? panas??? ga bisa nyambung :-)

other highlite of the week, jumat kmaren, area buat farewell party u/ nandis. g ngomong bentar kesan2 di"zolimi" ma dia. dan g slalu benci nemuin diri g mellow n jadi bkaca2 dngan muka merah padam nahan nangis. tadi di ibadah, waktu doa buat ngutus mereka, g mau diimpartasi lagi hati yang kaya gt. yang mau pergi.

ooohhhh, satu lagi..

# gajian!!! jadi bisa mulai ngaturin pos2 u/ ansuransi, bulanan, n beberapa debt yg harus g urus.

ngomong2 soal ansuransi, g rada BT ("rada" sebenernya satu kata yang cukup halus u/ mengkamuflase rasa JENGKEL g)ma pak.JB yang jd agen ansuransi g. g bingung n kesel, g sbenernya ikut ansuransi or lagi ngutang n ditagih2 debt kolektor y?? dia tuh assertive menjengkelkan yang snagat2 ga penting n ,menurut g, ga etis lagi. tp diliat dari sisi positifnya, g jadi mang "terpaksa" nyisihin uang buat pos ansuransi.

beberapa hal masih harus g improve minggu depan lagi. things like:
# sate pagi2!!! come on neeta,,, u can wake up early KAYA DULU!!
# OR
# jadi lebih terorganisir
# buat report keuangan pribadi
# blacklist all those numbers in screen page!!!

well, I'm ready to go to the next week... with u,

blog dalam bahasa indo

g lagi terkagum2 (lagi) sama indahnya bhasa indonesia. bahasa indonesia tuh kaya bnget ma ekspresi2 yang bikin g suka termingkem2. hehehe

well, g coba tulis blog dalam bahasa indo ya... mungkin masih campur2 inggris, a little :-)

Sunday, 24 February, 2008 at 09:02 p.m.

Minggu hari ini

G brasa ga jadi manusia. Satu2nya yang mengingatkan bahwa g masih manusia adalah bahwa g masih merasa. Walopun hari ini perasaan2 dan emosi2 yang g punya hampir smuanya negatif, at least g masih bisa merasa. Satu kata yang cocok untuk menggambarkan warna hati g adalah burek. Burek sperti campuran tanah yang sudah terinjak2 puluhan jejak spatu kotor bercampur air hujan. Yup, burek as like that.

Masih merupakan suatu hal yang menjengkelkan untuk menemukan suasana hati g bisa swift ke arah yang berbeda, ke mood yang sangat berlawanan, hanya dalam hitungan beberapa jam. Sabtu kemaren, g masih jadi manusia yang nikmati stiap moment bersosialisasi. Walo settingnya di rumah duka kung2 echi di gatot subroto, ttep g nikmatin fakta g bsosialisasi ma orang2 yang blakangan g hindari.

Itu kemaren.

Hari ini, g jadi sperti manusia yang khilangan charge batre.

Tergoda u/ menyalahkan kondisi finansial g yang hampir bangkrut, menyalahkan kepala g yang lagi gampang pusing n kekurangan oksigen, menyalahkan temperamen satu orang rumah yang lagi brengsek, cuaca yang ga jelas, acara TV yang ga da yang bagus, khidupan sosial g yang sama ga jelasnya dengan cuaca jakarta blakangan, kosongnya kotak inbox yang seakan jadi parameter ga jelasnya khidupan sosial g, dll.

Tapi…

Semua hal diatas tadi bukan penyebab low’nya g hari ini. Penyebab utama dropnya mood g hari ini, g sadar, adalah karena g ga mulai hari dengan benar. Saat teduh seakan jadi formalitas u/ memulai hari. Bukan jadi hal yang menyenangkan. Sempet mikir “g butuh gitar u/ sate”. Tapi bukan itu, g ga butuh alat musik apapun. Yang g butuhin adalah rasa lapar dan haus dateng ma Dia. Biarkan Dia isi kekosongan hati n jiwa g.

G masih bgantung ma hal2 di luar g. Bergantung sama manusia untuk buat g brasa jadi manusia.
Bergantung sama inbox nokia g untuk buat g brasa g manusia sosial yang exist.

Bergantung sama keuangan g u/ buat g mrasa jadi manusia yang sukses materially.

Bergantung sama baju2 dan sgala pernak/ik yang bisa g pake u/ buat g brasa jadi manusia yang punya fashion statement -- Manusia yang penuh, wanita yang seutuhnya.

In my attempt to be (in my opinion) whole, g mulai ngebanding2in diri g ma sederetan para wanita lain. G mulai menginginkan apa yang mereka punya, dan yang g punya. G mulai berharap g bisa punya tombol special yang bisa buat g ganti plot n naskah hidup g, ganti para pemain pendukung dan pemain figuran dan setting hidup g. G mulai ga melihat bahwa g adalah g yang unik dan ga da yang kaya g. G mulai ga mensyukuri apa yang Dia kasih k g. Dengan keras kepala, g masih sedikit berharap I wish I were someone else but me. Selain mulai ngebanding2ini diri g n wish I were someone else, g masih temuin diri g ada dalam lingkaran kebohongan yang g ciptain. Mata rantainya gitu, I wish I were someone else n I’ve been starting to live in lies I created to make me feel that I’m someone else. Pathetic, I know. Really pathetic!!!! Topeng2 g tsimpan rapi di tas kasat mata g.

Topeng profesionalisme untuk di kantor.

Topeng rohani di aktifitas kerohanian.

Topeng liar dan brengsek untuk orang dan nomor2 tertentu.

Je, please let me be me in You. Aku cape ma hidupku, dan kembali aku serahin balik naskah n plotku ke Engkau sbagai sutradara dan penulis hidupku ya.

get in the shift with k'pol

while doing zenko's translation project, kp called to join her learning to drive. well, it's such a great xcuse just to get my butt out of the chair n get some refreshing time!!!! note: i've not met my bed for almost 24 hours


edoy, the instructor

kp, the learner


enjoying the ride... ga jauh2, kdaerah2 gading jg.. smpet k sports mall pula.. pheewwww poca is rite, g cm bisa gaul di gading ja hehehe

note: tanggal n time di fotonya salah tuh... maklum lupa di set ulang time tag'nya...

from the street

without a really heavy ad., bjork was scheduled to have a live concert on 12th february. well, for me, bjork is an undoubtedly superb genius artist.

love her music!!!



yellow n orange!!!! just a perfect colour combination for street sign. talk about how i am crazy with these two colours hehehe

having these rite in crowded messy dempet area is like having a sunflower plant among bushes. too lebay, huh??

more snapshots in flooded jakarta :-)

FRIday o1.o2.o8

got my butt out of the house.





i've just arrived at itc cmpaka when all vehicles were reluctant to go on as the flood was too high to go thru [it was already at adult chest level]... so, i spent about a couple hours shopping around before taking a bajaj drive back home.

snapshots of o1FeB'o8

sometimes ago, when i was walking under my (doubted creation called) umbrella *as it has the name umbrella, yet, it doesnt look like one, i kinda thinking that january is sposed to be rainy session n i was kinda upset that it had been so annoyingly dry n super hot those days.

and, here it came, at the very early start of february... the rain came down like an answered prayer.

i was kinda smiling telling you: "hei, dont take my prayer that seriously" hehehe :-)

FYI, it was raining like crazy one whole day. n jakarta -- not suprisingly-- was flooded up bad. traffic was like everywhere. i still managed to go to gading that day. well, that was a good decision to go out under the storm like that as i was able to see the flooded sunter.

i'll download some snapshots i make rite on that day later. gtg.

more of the personality test

INFP - The "Dreamer" Myers-Briggs Personality Types (Free Test)

INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. They are driven by their values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, they want to help others and humanity as a whole. INFPs are imaginitive, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. They can also be described as easygoing, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal.

Details
Preferences

Introverted
iNtuition
Feeling
Perceiving

Temperament
NF (Visionary)

INFP Population
Total: 2%
Male: 1.5%
Female: 2.5%

Primary Function
Introverted Feeling

Secondary Function
Extraverted Intuition

Tertiary Function
Introverted Sensing

Least Function
Extraverted Thinking


About the INFP Expert Quotes & Links

"To understand Healers, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. The Healer is the Prince or Princess of fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith..."
- The Portrait of a Healer Idealist (Keirsey)

"INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life."
- Portrait of an INFP (The Personality Page)

"creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings..."
- INFP Jung Type Descriptions (similarminds.com)

"An INFP's feelings form the foundations of the individual. They are sacred and binding, in the sense that their emergence requires no further justification. An INFP's feelings are often guarded, kept safe from attack and ridicule. Only a few, close confidants are permitted entrance into this domain."
- INFP Profile (INFP Mailing List)

"Highly creative, artistic and spiritual, they can produce wonderful works of art, music and literature. INFPs are natural artists. They will find great satisfaction if they encourage and develop their artistic abilities. That doesn't mean that an INFP has to be a famous writer or painter in order to be content. Simply the act of "creating" will be a fulfilling source of renewal and refreshment to the INFP. An INFP should allow himself or herself some artistic outlet, because it will add enrichment and positive energy to their life."
- INFP Personal Growth (The Personality Page)

"INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glassworld where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualities."
- INFP Profile (TypeLogic)

"Their job must be fun, although not racous, and it must be meaningful to them. They need a strong purpose in their work. They want to be recognized and valued, without undue attention given to them. They may become embarrassed when make the center of attention. As a result, they may undersell their strengths in order to avoid being singled out and made to feel conspicuous. They would rather have their worth be noticed gradually over time."
- INFP - The Dreamer (Lifexplore)

Famous INFPs; Real INFP People
A. A. Milne - author (Winnie the Pooh)
Albert Schweitzer - theologian, musician, physician
Aldous Huxley - English author
Amy Tan - author (The Joy-Luck Club)
Annie Dillard - author (Pilgrim at Tinker Creek)
Audrey Hepburn - actress (Breakfast at Tiffany's)
Dick Clark - television personality
Donna Reed - acress
Fred Rogers - Mister Rogers' Neighborhood
Fred Savage - actor (The Wonder Years)
George Orwell - author, journalist
Helen Keller - deaf/blind author, activist, lecturer
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow - American poet
Isabel Myers - psychological theorist
J. R. R. Tolkien - writer (Lord of the Rings)
James Herriot - veterinary surgeon, writer
James Taylor - singer-songwriter, guitarist
John - Disciple of Jesus
John F. Kennedy, Jr. - lawyer, journalist, publisher
Laura Ingalls Wilder - author (Little House on the Prairie)
Lisa Kudrow - actress ("Phoebe" on Friends)
Luke - physician, author
Mary - Mother of Jesus
Mia Farrow - actress
Neil Diamond - musician
Peter Jackson - filmmaker (Lord of the Rings
Princess Diana - Princess of Wales
Scott Bakula - actor (Start Trek Enterprise)
Tom Brokaw - television journalist
Virgil - ancient Roman poet
William Shakespeare - English poet and playwright


Fictional INFPs (Characters)

Anne - Anne of Green Gables
Bastian Balthazar Bux - The Neverending Story
Calvin - Calvin and Hobbes
Deanna Troi - Star Trek: The Next Generation
Doctor Julian Bashir - Star Trek: Deep Space 9
Doug Funnie - Doug cartoon
E.T. - E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
Fox Mulder - X-Files
Rocko - Rocko's Modern Life
Tommy Pickles - Rugrats
Wesley Crusher - Star Trek: The Next Generation

Personality test-- INFP - Dreamer

have just taken the personality test at this link and here comes some jobs which i might be best in :-)

let me bold some i've been doing yaa.

diliat dari daftar ni, tnyata slama ini g cukup melakukan pekerjaan2 yg sesuai ma apa yang jd talenta n karakter g... cm rada serem jg g bnyak bnget persentasiny di introvert..

see, mereka yg bilang g extro hrus g kasih liat hasil test up-to-date g. tiap x ktmu orang, mrk blng g extrovert.. mungkin karna g sk ngobrol ma orang baru n rada inisiatif mulai pbicaraan kale y yang bikin g kliatan xtro. pdahal g intro akut :-)

Activist *Food for the Hungry* *global warming*
Actor
Architect
Artist
Church Worker
Counselor
Editor
Educational Consultant *riec*
Employee Development Specialist
Fashion Designer
Filmmaker
Graphic/Web Designer
Holistic Health Practitioner
Human Resources
Journalist
Legal Mediator
Librarian
Massage Therapist
Minister
Missionary *i am still now,btw :-) *
Musician
Photographer
Physical Therapist
Psychologist/Counselor
Researcher
Social Scientist
Social Worker
Speech Pathologist
Teacher/Professor *cant wait to go from level "teacher" to "professor" hehehe*
Translator/Interpreter *mr.Zenko's projects*
Video Editor
Writer *love it!!!*

error state of me

see, i've been giving a deep thought bout "self control".

looks like my school life report in that subject is quite bad. my self control is so low that i did some stupid acts n chose unsmart decisions.

i just need to put more effort in it more than before.

oh no, it happens again!!!

ugghhh...
*sigh*
*wink*
*sigh*

it happens again!!

UPSSSS

the connection is so bad..

i need to email this to mr.zenko. yet, waiting for almost 4 hours in this internet centre is so very useless, coz i'm not getting further in this attachment prosess.

hate every moment of it..

*sigh*
*hungry*
*lack of sleep*

hei, i'm truly blessed :-)

What's so poignant about this picture? Well, it shows a line of little girls holding hands facing the immensity of ocean waves.
Alone they might be washed away, but together they stand strong.
Thank you each for holding my hand somewhere along the way when I was facing a wave of my own.

I hope you will reach for my hand when your own wave threatens.


well, got this pic from veena. well, it simply reminds me of those who may be shown in my own pictures like that... holding hands facing the emmensity of life.

in one of J.B.Jovi "saying thanks" note he wrote: if a man's happiness is counted by how many friends he has in life, i must be the happiest person in town

well, ppl may see me like an easy going person who r so fast in making friends. yet, i'm honoured to have those who r there thru the hard times of my life (the circle of friends: kmei, ktel, nandis, ndut, trouble, yunee, n those i forgot to mention... u know where ur place in my heart, rite??? :-0 )

ehhhmmm

finally i've sent the files...

aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

what the heck is going on with the internet connection????!!!!! fyi, i'm getting tired pressing these keypad, i'm getting sick of looking at the screen :-0

God is there for u more than u know n feel

God, help me :-0


Please...


what the...???


WWWWHHHHYYYYYY?????



ARRRGGGHHHH.. i asked u to help me, rite, Je??



OOooooo



My son, I'll handle all these big stones :-) u can handle all those small ones, rite?? :-)



Je, ajar aku u/ slalu sadar that U r committed to take care of my life.. ga da hal yang tjadi dlm hidupku yang dluar ijin n restuMu...

J'taime, Je

welcome aboard!!!

stella has been joining enopi since last friday.

it was one of a hectic day :-)

another translation

mr.zenko called last nite from china n offer me to do another translation for his cellphone project.



well, i've been spending some times doing it since last evening.

here i am in front of the slow-loading PC waiting for the yahoo attachment process finished.

so thankful that i didnt have to stay awake again at the computer rental centre like the last time i received one of his project. this time i could be so comfy doing the translation at my cozy living room with the blue axioo. what i was afraid of didnt hapen, actually. see, i was kinda afraid that this neon axioo would get hanged or things like that. but, nope!!!!!! none of those annoying things happened :-)

i was supposed to give in the translation via email at around 11 o'clock as he's been waiting right at the cellphone factory in china.

man, i wish the attachement loading had been faster!!!!!

19.01.08 at lapiz

looked for a pocket dictionary for siung2.
met kpol n her boy.f at gramed.
dinner at sandwich bakar [yuni, siung2, renoy, kp, her bf called harris]
continued to starbucks lapizz [nandis, voni, dea, echa, kris, renoy, jacky]
got home at around 1pm.
got online with the guy who was hiking in halimun *i was NOT allowed to response anything from him, actually*

pesan moral malem-subuh kemaren: 1. girls just wanna have some fun NOW!!!! 2. i cant judge a book by its cover, REALLY... the thought came up when it turned out that 'u know who' was n is NOT like i think he was n is "-)

axioo

i'm searching for a notebook n some friends suggest me to buy axioo...

well, here r some searching bout axioo:



Anda ingin membeli Notebook, tapi bingung dengan istilah & teknologinya ? Di bawah ini ada beberapa panduan detail mengenai Notebook Axioo, salah satu merek lokal terkemuka saat ini.
Axioo membagi beberapa segmen Notebook berdasarkan fungsi, yaitu tipe ORIS, CENTAUR & NEON. Axioo seri ORIS lebih menekankan lifestyle user dengan desain kompak, ringan dan berteknologi tinggi, seperi tipe SO256 dan NO258. Seri CENTAUR ditujukan untuk user bertipe mobile, profesional atau kalangan pekerja yang menginginkan fitur lengkap, seperti tipe SL728, NL658, NS718, ML016 dan MS016. Dan terakhir seri NEON ditujukan untuk user yang menginginkan notebook baru tapi berharga terjangkau tapi dengan performa cukup baik, seperti NV656, VL624 dan VL724. Semua seri ini menunjukkan komitmen Axioo untuk menjangkau semua kalangan masyarakat.

Ada dua hal yang mesti di-ingat dalam memilih notebook. Yang pertama adalah : Jangan terpaku pada merek Branded luar (karena hampir semua notebook saat ini berkualitas sama), dan yang kedua : Jangan membeli notebook bermerek dengan harga sangat mahal & tidak masuk akal. Sekedar informasi, Axioo saat ini berkisar antara 4 s/d 12-an juta rupiah saja (tergantung tipe & teknologinya).

Dan yang terakhir adalah memilih notebook yang fungsional : yaitu yang paling efisien dari sisi harga dan kegunaannnya. Jadi penting buat kita untuk menyesuaikan pilihan notebook dengan karakter pemilik serta fungsinya dalam pekerjaan sehari-hari. Pilihan tersebut daat disesuaikan antara seri ORIS, CENTAUR & NEON.

* Platform, yaitu background teknologi yang digunakan oleh notebook secara keseluruhan. Platform akan menentukan apakah suatu notebook memenuhi syarat-syarat teknologi baru atau tidak. Umumnya platform mengacu pada teknologi dari Intel, yaitu Centrino Duo, Centrino & Celeron-M. Intel Centrino / Centrino Duo merupakan platform dengan fitur sebagai berikut : kinerja terbaik dibanding generasi sebelumnya, baterai lebih tahan lama (3 – 5 jam), chassis notebook lebih ringan & tipis, serta Wireless internet terintegrasi. Rekomendasi : Centrino Duo cocok untuk user yang menyukai fitur notebook kelas atas (high-end), seperti pengolahan aplikasi Office, Grafis, Game & Multimedia. Untuk yang berharga lebih moderat dengan fitur sedikit dibawahnya, bisa pilih Centrino. Untuk fitur standar dan harga terjangkau dapat memilih platform Celeron M.

* Processor, saat ini ada 4 macam processor Notebook berdasarkan generasinya, yaitu Intel Core 2 Duo, Core Duo, Pentium M dan Celeron M. Intel Core 2 Duo dan Core Duo menggunakan fitur mutakhir Dual Core (otak ganda), dan digunakan pada platform “Centrino Duo”. (Mohon bedakan istilah Core Duo dan Centrino Duo !). Kelebihan Core 2 Duo / Core Duo lainnya adalah fitur L2 cache memory yang lebih besar & pintar, hemat daya dan tidak terlalu panas. Rekomendasi : sebaiknya pilih processor terbaru yaitu Intel Core 2 Duo / Core Duo yang digunakan pada platform Intel Centrino Duo. Tapi jika dananya terbatas dapat menggunakan processor Intel Pentium M (platform Centrino) atau Celeron M yang lebih terjangkau. Sesuaikan kebutuhan antara budget dan fungsinya.

* LCD Monitor, saat ini berkisar dengan ukuran 10”, 12”, 14” dan 15” inchi. Semakin kecil, biasanya notebook akan semakin ringan. Notebook mainstream (general) biasanya menggunakan ukuran 14” dan 15” inchi. Rekomendasi : Pertimbangkan kenyamanan ketika menentukan ukuran layar, karena sekali dipilih kita tidak bisa menggantinya. Notebook berukuran kecil 10” dan 12” cocok untuk orang yang senang bepergian (mobile), sedangkan 14” dan 15” lebih pas untuk orang yang menggunakan notebook dalam waktu lama di kantor atau rumah. Selain itu, ada baiknya mempertimbangkan layar tipe Widescreen (lebih lebar) agar sudut penglihatan lebih baik & nyaman

* RAM (Memory) berfungsi sebagai penampung data berkecepatan tinggi (di notebook disebut sebagai RAM SODIMM). Pilih notebook dengan RAM kapasitas minimal 512 MB (Megabytes), tapi akan lebih baik jika menggunakan kapasitas 1 GB (Gigabytes). Ini karena software terbaru seperti Microsoft Windows Vista akan lebih nyaman digunakan pada kapasitas tersebut. Semakin besar kapasitas RAM, akan membuat kinerja komputer lebih baik secara keseluruhan terutama untuk aplikasi “kelas berat”. Rekomendasi : Gunakan SODIMM Visipro 512 MB atau 1 GB dengan garansi lifetime. RAM Axioo gampang di-upgrade dan paling kompatibel dengan Visipro, dan sudah tersedia di semua dealer yang menjual Axioo.

* Hard Disk merupakan media penting yang berfungsi menyimpan seluruh data internal di komputer. Saat ini kapasitas minimal untuk notebook adalah 40 & 60 GB. Selain kapasitas, faktor penting lain yang perlu dipertimbangkan adalah kehandalan (reliability), kecepatan (transfer rata), interface (ATA/SATA), tahan terhadap guncangan dan faktor merek. Saat ini HDD mengarah pada teknologi Serial ATA (SATA) dengan kapasitas minimal 80 GB. Rekomendasi : Gunakan HDD Seagate Momentus ATA atau SATA untuk menjamin reliability, high speed, high durability dan bigger capacity. Seagate merupakan produsen HDD No. 1 di dunia, dan tipe Seagate Momentus tersedia di semua dealer yang menjual Axioo dengan kapasitas maksimal 160 GB.

* Optical Disk merupakan media untuk membaca kepingan CD dan DVD. Semua tipe Notebook Axioo tidak hanya dapat digunakan untuk fungsi komputasi/data, tapi juga dapat mengolah aplikasi multimedia seperti Film, MP3 Audio dan Gambar Digital. Jadi media CD dan DVD sangatlah penting untuk di-integrasikan. Saat ini hampir semua noetbook value menggunakan CD Combo dengan fungsi CD/CD-RW/DVD. Untuk tipe Mainstream dan High-End (seperti Centrino Duo) biasanya sudah menggunakan DVD Writer dengan fungsi CD/CD-RW/DVD/DVD-RW. Sebentar lagi akan dirilis Notebook dengan optical dics berteknologi mutakhir “HDD DVD” dan “Blue-Ray” yang lebih cepat dan berkapasitas raksasa. Rekomendasi : Jika budget cukup sebaiknya pilihlah opsi DVD Writer, dengan pertimbangan fungsi yang lebih banyak. Tapi umumnya Notebook Value & Centrino masih menggunakan CD Combo.

* Wireless Fidelity (WiFi) merupakan card yang berfungsi untuk melakukan koneksi internet nirkabel. Hampir semua Notebook saat ini sudah menggunakan wifi terintegrasi didalamnya, terutama platform Centrino dan Centrino Duo. WiFi (bisa juga disebut WLAN) merupakan fitur yang kompatibel diseluruh dunia, jadi bisa digunakan di negara manapun. Rekomendasi : Notebook Value dengan Processor Celeron M biasanya hanya menyertakan WiFi Card sebagai opsi, jadi user harus membeli card ini sebagai tambahan. Sebaiknya tambahkan card ini pada notebook, karena internet nirkabel (hotspot) sudah gampang ditemukan. Dengan notebook WiFi kita dapat melakukan koneksi dimana saja.

* Fitur tambahan (add-on), seperti integrated webcam, bluetooth dan card reader. Fitur-fitur ini lebih bersifat opsi dan disesuaikan pada setiap notebook dan kebutuhan pengguna. Apabila di notebook tidak ditemukan fitur tersebut, maka kita dapat membelinya sebagai device terpisah (umumnya menggunakan USB).

Untuk informasi lebih lanjut mengenai Notebook Axioo dan Product Knowledge-nya, harap mengunjungi kami di www.axioo.net atau didealer notebook terdekat dikota anda.

Sumber : id.axioo.net

my lens... my sight... with JE

state of today:

* amazingly HOT
* have just got back from Thaming Optic
* periode cram

well, after living without my glasses for almost 5 months, i FINALLY got a new pair. the old ones are just to broken to be fixed. see, the old pairs had been hanging on my nose for almost 7 years and they had gone trough all unimaginable broken condition.

i realized one thing on the way back home, though. see, i've been seeing things blurry for almost 5 months without glasses on my face. i stubbornly ignored it. AND today i just can feel how much different i see things with this (more trendy, mind you) new pair.

i can't help but feel that the same thing has been happening with my other eyes... my other sight... the sight of my heart and soul.

it's been quite blurry for months that i couldnt see things vividly, that my decisions were unwise, that my actions were unquestionly stupid-with capital S.

i want to see clearly again. not only for my physical eyes, but also (and most important) for my heart n soul.

i want to see things--EVERYTHIMG-- through ur lens, JE...

"ur words are the lamp i'll ever need for great bright sight, Je!!"

me in U,

U in me.

Together.

Facing the world.

My world... with Ur word...

together...

sorry that i let U go...

thanks for never letting me go, though :-)

i'm Urs, Je.

PERIODE

Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.

It’s opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’ t
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…

…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So…
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

-Dr. Seuss.

got a phone call yesterday from mr.zenko. he offered me another translation project to do. and i was like "GREAT!!!!!!!!!".

it means that he was satisfied with the last translation i made that he decided to offer me another one, rite?? how cool is that?!

well, let's do it again, Je :-)

love never fails

Loaded with Love

Friday, January 04, 2008
“He…loads me with love and mercy.” Psalm 103:4

It’s time to let God’s love cover all things in your life. All secrets. All hurts. All hours of evil, minutes of worry.

The morning you awoke in the bed of a stranger? His love will cover that. The years you peddled prejudice and pride? His love will cover that. Every promise broken, drug taken, penny stolen. Every cross word, cuss word, and harsh word. His love covers all things.

Let it. Discover along with the psalmist: “He…loads me with love and mercy.”

Picture a giant dump truck full of love. There you are behind it. God lifts the bed until the love starts to slide. Slowly at first, then down, down, down until you are hidden, buried, covered in his love.

“Hey, where are you?” someone asks.

“In here, covered in love.”

by: M.lucado

christmas family gathering

i love this curly look i have :-)

global warming rally with SaNur students

sanur had this global warming rally sometimes ago. fina invited kp,tongkee, n me to join this. so, there we were marching with a bag in our hands to pick up garbage along the way from sanur to monas n back...







tongkee

wawa said that this one looks like i was in jurong bird park singapore... nope, it's actually in lapangan banteng



i've been quite a global warming activist in my own way. i became aware for the very first time after i watched oprah show with al gore as her guest. they discussed bout global warming so clear that i started to see the earth in a diff perspective.

see, it makes me upset to see how ppl i know n dont know are still unaware of how the earth may end up if we keep on neglecting to save the planet. like a few days ago, i was sitting in U13 public transportation, and there were a young mom with her little girl drinking a plasticful of ice tea. what happened next brought me to horror, as they throw those plastic to the mini river along the street. i couldnt help but think that it needs a HUGE change in ways of thinking to make jakarta ppl aware that throwing garbage n stuff in unappropriate places is so NOT COOL!!!!

my youngest sist even gets a little too much with this global warming thing (which i think is very cool). well, she prefers to use my used plate for lunch/dinner just to save some water :-), she will check around the house if there is any unusefull electricity running (she will turn it off immediately), she will bring cloth bags instead of using and taking plastic ones, yup, things like that.

eniwei... everyone, PLEASE save our earth!!!

Happy new year!!!!!!!

Happy new year "-)

pujangga 45 #2

sender: +62817685****
31-dec-2007 01:23:40
aku selalu dgr katamu...
bahkan emosimu...
walau aku hanya orang yg tersisih dr pagi,
namun aku cukup bahagia melewati 1000malam bersama senyummu..
smoga malam terulang..


sent to: +62817685****
31-dec-2007 01:35:18
ada senyum dimatanya saat mereka menyapa # ada bintang berpijar dimalamnya ketika mereka menghampiri # Pppssssttttt # it's one of those nites she treasures #


sender: +62817685****
31-dec-2007 01:43:59
aku tanya malaikat.. "apa Tuhan sayang aku..?" Dia sangat sayang padamu.. Apa buktinya Tuhan sayang aku.. Dia telah mengirimkan kamu seorang yg mbuatmu tersenyum


sent to: +62817685****
31-dec-2007 01:52:23
ketika tb saatnya saat pkataan'nya hnya sbatas kumpulan huruf2 tnpa makna # biar apa yang 'dia' lakukan u/ 'mereka' lbih bergema # biar tindakkan'nya' menjawab kbutuhan 'mereka'

sender: +62817685****
31-dec-2007 02:05:19
mataku mulai terpejam hingga cahaya itu bangunkanku
dia memang pantas memberiku cahaya
kalimatnya mulai mgoda hatiku
sentuhannya memanjaku
jangan Kau ambil senangku

pujangga 45

sender: +6281768*****
30-dec-2007 09:40:05
Aku mati kak...
Dia mengambil senyum t'akhir hidupku
Satu persatu tangis menjengukku...
Sembahmu kini tak b'arti lg..
P'lahan ku hentikan jalanku m'cari kesenangan

sender : +6281768*****
30-dec-2007 23:07:53
Koma,aku mulai tertarik dgn siang...
akan aku langkahi malam2 bising tanpa suara...

Titik, aku akan hidup untuk melihat laut biru..
ya, semangatku sangat besar..
dendam kepada pagi yang segar, sore yg ramai..
dimana bisik itu berasal?
mungkin TUhan telah menyentuhku..
membelaiku dengan sayanNYA..

sent to: +6281768*****
31-dec-2007 01:05:27
Bisakah kupegang kata2mu? # bolehkah kutagih janji2mu? # aku pegang kata2ku # dan kau selalu boleh tagih janji2ku#

cross present tonite

there will be a cross present (kata reni seh ini bahasa inggrisny tukeran kado). i'll take the pic of my present n i'll post it...

in my head lately

i've been thinking about this lately:
*it's so easy for me to feel related with someone*

mungkin krna g yg lagi melarikan diri dari komunitas yg bikin g mudah pcaya ma strangers. feel like it is totally safe to pour things out coz this stranger has nothing to do with the old times, coz this stranger may not be able to judge me from the unrepairable things i've made.

smpai sore tadi, g masih brasa ga belong ma komunitas yg dulu g sayang n adore so much. 6 bulan djakarta masih ga cukup buat g feel like i'm home. mreka yg dulu jadi tmpat naro cerita jadi orang2 yang sekarang g hindarin. kata2 nandis yg dl g pegang sering jadi kumpulan kata2 yang g acuhin. janji2 yg g buat ma nandis, stella, yuni, ayung, n diri g sendiri banyakkali jadi janji2 basi yg sering ga kerealisasi.

apa ini yg bikin g nyaman ngabisin puluhan menit cuma u/ ngobrol with a stranger dibanding ngabisin bebrapa waktu ma mereka yg dulu bareng mereka g suka bgadang nyusurin jalan2 jakarta hunting makanan?

apa ini yang jadi alesan sempurna knapa g lebih suka dial ke nomor yang hnya baru g knal sebulanan ini dibanding men'dial nomor mereka yang g apal diluar kpala??

apa ini knapa g lebih milih u/ pour n share things with a stranger--a stranger who now i feel like someone i really know n care--dibanding ma mereka yg pendapat n isi hatinya g cari??

ga nyamannya g dengan komunitaskah yang bikin g ignore fakta bahwa nDuT lagi dijakarta, n bahkan g ga niat nawarin waktu u/ skedar ktemu bentar??
ignore fakta gimana belasan malem dia nemenin nongkrong dipinggir senggigi cuma untuk ngopi ngemie n ngbrol ga jelas mpe subuh2??


ini pcakapan via sms 2 days b4 christmas:

nDuT: nast, g dah dijakarta.
g : *stlah 2jam'an* welcome to the crowded jakarta ya!!
nDuT: nast, r u okey?
g : iya'lah, mang np?
nDuT: gak np2
g : once again, welcome to jakarta!
nDuT: gt y

that's it, i didnt n dont even want to reply or do anything with the fact that he is here, in the same geographical location with me. just dont feel comfort n eager to do so.

sorry guys, i'm sorry, i just dont feel like spending times with u.

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry Don't cry Don't cry *taken from Fergie's*


it may just be a pseudo thing, i know. i know that it may not last. i know that it may be pathetic to feel this way.

or, it may not?? or is it just an escape from reality like i used to say...

tapi, kalo g mau reality g Je, it means that i'm escaping from You, Je. n i dont want to escape from You. i still want to be found in You, Je...

the point is, aku masih mau ditemukan dalamMU, Je.

I in YOU

rasa'ku,
jiwa'ku,
hati'ku,
mimpu'ku,
gerak, keputusan, dan pilihan2ku,
nada dan suaraku,
seluruh keberadaan'ku... biar ditemukan didalamMu,

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus,
I'm sorry Lord, for the things i made,
it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus..."heart of worship" by.M.W.Smith

please use ur senses :-)

jangan pcaya kata2 yang keluar dari mulut g...
sering kali i dont mean them--
jangan pcaya expresi g...
sering kali i fake them--
jangan pcaya nada dan intonasi yang mengalun dari suara g...
sering kali i just make them up---

pcaya g dengan hati lo,
lihat expresi g dengan indra rasa lo,
dengar g dengan jiwa lo,

then, maybe... just maybe...
lo bisa lihat the real me...

back to 2005

iseng g baca2 lagi blog g di friendster, n nemuin tulisan ini:
*created on 31th October'05*

yahoo net cafe @ blakang mataram mall...

today, i practically have nothing special to do, except ikutan komsel pemuda gabungan @ 7p.m di ruko. so, here i am, checking emails...menghabiskan banyak waktu ngider2 d mal sini bikin g rada takjub gimana antu'ny masyarakat mataram--terutama yang muda2--u/ rame2 latah 'menghias diri' untuk bisa skedar gaya di hari lebaran. hampir smua shopping sites rame...ngebludak...mal yang notabene ga tlalu gede jadi makin mirip pasar impres. g phatiin, slaen toko2 baju, tempat nomor dua yang paling banyak diserbu adalah gerai2 handphone. kalau liat gaya parahnya gaya konsumtif mereka, rasanya ga percaya kalo dibilang indonesia lagi ngalamin krisis kemiskinan nasional. fyi, ga cuma mereka yang memang tinggal di mataram, ampenan, or cakra aj yang niat belanja2. mereka yang tinggal jauh dari kota--dari lombok tengah, barat, dan sgla penjuru--rame2 nyusrek ngubrek k sini.

pagi tadi, g sempet denger'in interview aa.gym tentang overacting. well, g rasa tingkat kegairahan kebanyakan orang untuk mnyambut dan mrayakan hari kemenangan Muslim ini dah bisa masuk dalam definisi overacting. gimana ga???? hanya untuk keliatan gaya, modis, mampu, n tajir mereka bela2in nguras dompet mereka untuk sesuatu yg mungkin mereka ga perluin. g jadi miris ngeliat dah jauhnya bergeser makna idul fitri yg sebenernya...jadi inget lagu enno lerian jaman dia mungil dulu:

"sepatu baru--alhamdullilah, tuk dipakai dihari raya, ga punya pun ga ap-ap, masih ada spatu yang lama...buat apa pesta2, kalau gagal puasanya, yang penting imannya pada Allah"...well, kurang lebih gitu d lagunya, rada ga inget lagi :)

g pikir, nabi Muhamad bisa uring2an di alamnya dia skarang kalo dia liat gaya para pengikutnya...sama kaya gemes and mirisnya Yesus tiap bulan Desember saat Dia liat pengikutNya lebih mentingin tatanan dandanan fisik, cari berbagai kartu2 lucu, ngabisin banyak waktu pilah-pilih ornamen pohon natal, dan sgala tetek bengek ga penting laennya, dibandingin sibuk n concern'nya mereka mnata hati dan milih respon n sikap hati yang bener untuk jadi ornamen hati.

Merry Early Xmas :)


2 taon stelah g nulis ini, g jd brasa sedih. see, g ga punya sikap hati yg sama yg Je temuin 2 taon lalu.

natal taon ini, g jadi neeta yg ky 'dead man walking'. my body is alive but my soul n spirit is dying down there... it's not that i havent done anything to make it better, it's just that i havent really done it passionately.

i wish things had been different. wish i could erase and skip Your process in me as along the process i've just become such a loser. i knew and still know that these things are good for me in being strong in You, i just sometimes wish that You are not that serious :-0

see, i still find me running away. i still find me not okey in heart n soul department. i still find me not making good right truthful decisions n actions, i still am struggling to follow You...

i learn, though, that these days, my relationship with You is not based merely on feelings and naive emotion. it's more based on my decisions. seems like the days when You can be felt emotionally is over, here comes the moments n level when it is my decision to love You -- not just that i feel i love You.

let my love is shown through my actions... let me speak my love out in my real action, JE...

translation project

have been working on the cellphone translation since wednesday.

the effect of lack of sleep is that i've been so sensitive n easy to get pissed off. one nite, dede called i just got irritated n blew things to him. SORRY!!!

i've just sent the last revision (i really hope i dont have to make another revision) n i really cross my fingers that mr.zenko will approve it.

*sigh*
*smile* thank goodness i've done it!!!
*smile* it's great to have u on line with me,De!!!

jogHin's church painting project

kanker

kanker..

mati gaya..

mati rasa..

coz... those unprofessional people in RIEC are so annoyingly late to pay my rights!!!!

IT IS ALL VERY SIMPLE

by:janet@word-sculptures.com

Each of us has only one soul to fix ...
Each of us has only one heart to heal ...
Each of us has only one head to clear ... our own.

But we need all of us.

Without one, there is disorder ...
Without one, there is imperfection ...
Without one, there is a hole in harmony ... no whole.

It is all very simple.
We all matter.

conFLicT

"Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude."

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph."

"Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else's hands, but not you."

"We are injured and hurt emotionally, not so much by other people or what they say and don't say, but by our own attitude and our own response." - Maxwell Maltz

"Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family." - Virginia Satir

the steps of comin back to Your tracks

last nite i decided to join the tuesday prayer.

to be honest, it felt weird n exciting. it simply reminded me how i had been. how i would have been willing to pay the price just to gather like this.

i'm taking the steps of coming back to YOUR arms, Je :-)

funny stuff

toothpastefordinner.com

funny stuff

toothpastefordinner.com

well, i've ever read this interesting job vacancy in Kompas for doing data entry... it turned out that it was just this fake ad. for ppl to get involved w/ stock market. i made a phone call, though, and made an appointment as well [f.y.i. the company named Graha Venesha is located at BNI46]..
later on, i just felt not peaceful with this thing and called it off when the company's staff phoned me back for reconfirmation.

i always believe that it's always a great thing to follow ur heart. well, the same thing for this case. kstella n evan also experienced the same thing. evan even had already come n done some trainings it conducted. for me, bagus g ga kepo dateng n buang2 waktu n ongkos hehehehe

hohoho christmas is just right on the corner, guys

on sunday, joghin called from bogor as he was trying to find a christmas card with a pic of santa claus+reinders for his church painting projects.

it's funny how it seems like it's not like christmas seasons and receiving his call kinda reminded me that... HEI... it's christmas people!!!!!!!!

7 hours before the call, even when tongkee asked me to see the christmas tree she has set in the living room, i still found it hard to grasp that this is the season of christmas.

the questions are: WHY... WHY... WHY do i feel that way???

well, i guess it's because it's quite hot here... yeah.. just blame it on the weather!!! mmmmhhh, beside that, i think it's me who spiritually is not that okey... see, i hate the fact that it takes quite long for me to heal the pain, to be totally free in Your unconditional love, to be really ME in YOU.

last saturday, i happened to talk to nandis as he checked things out of me. he still could tell that i'm still not that okey... that i'm still quite a wreck deep inside.



this morning, i confess again, that I am YOURs, that i am willing to be go back to the last momment--the last track i left you and start from there again. well, i'm sorry for running n thanks for chasing me out with all the best effort U have. realizing that i just dont deserve it makes me realize once again, that YOUR love is not based in what i did/am doing/do/will be doing... it's simply as YOU've decided to do so.. J'taime Je :-)

new years is also right there on the corner, JE... i'm ready to have another journey in the chapter called 2008 with You...

once again, JoGhiN

nope, it's not a streaptease show!!!
it's just him in his gokil state, i guess...

meet my pocarisweat brother named joghin

he's been a company --great refreshing company indeed!!-- to kill many insomnia nites lately :-)

edited version: 12/12/07 @ 09:45a.m.
pocarisweat brother = for the fact that he's always successfull in refreshing me up nomatter whatever situation i'm in --sleepy, moody, tired, whatever.

like this morning. i woke up at 5a.m with his sms sent at around midnit in my inbox asking if he might call me. well, guess what, he was still alert when i replied "-) whatta great way to begin my day!!! hehehe

children of Koal

i miss these kids, a LOT!!

joghin's poem

someone i recently know sms me this poem


jika mati itu mudah,
aku pasti sudah menyerah,
bahkan semua tertawa padaku,
kmana bidadariku pergi,
yang biasa menyelamatkanku,
seharusnya dia daritadi sudah berada disini...
-by joghin 01dec07-

still, crunchies from back then... #2

traveling light

i'm not the kind of person who is able to travel lightly. not a practical person at all.

just see the contains of my traveling bag, for example :-)

lots of useless things i bring just for the sake to be ready for anything.

well, hopefully, in the trip called life, i might be able to travel light. i desire to be able to travel without bags of sorrow, hatred, dissapointment, failures, loneliness, and other baggage i dont need to take in this life trip.

help me to be able to travel light, for YOUR sake, for my sake, JE.,,

still, crunchies from back then...

two places, in two different geographical positions.. still, Amazing!!!

U r amazing
never changing
always with me
enthrone within my soul
overflowing, my heart offers
in deep honour n worship..
U R AMAZING!!!

scrubs from poatina

meet petey

met him during a festival in a suburb near melbourne (i forget the name of it). got dinner invitation to his parents' house, n there i was spending some times playing around with him :-)

my fav breakfast

my brekky: banana, green grapes, milo, and lots of ice cubes.... yuMMie!!!! slurrpppp!!!!!!!

back to poatina for a while

the gumpy house

once again... the amazing Kids of Koal!!!!!!

here comes the amazing children called idin n kebon

the small operation with Lia --back long time ago

and that's how the story goes:

just when i got back from lombok, i had this annoying painful bump right in my right feet. it was so very tiny when i was in mataram, yet it got bigger n bigger since then until here in jakarta.





the annoying thing i have to get rid of



aaaarrrrggggrrrhhhhh, it's painful!!!!!!!



the medical doctor :-)

and that's how the story ends :-)

i live mylife again free from any bumps

*sigh*
*smile*

me n the cousins back in homeland :-0

found this pic from the old file.

am i living in my vision... or am i just living in self denial???

found this pic while browsing 4 some info 4 the presentation next friday.

well, it kinda reminds me of what i want.

the desire to pursue what U put in my cracked heart.

when U look down into my heart, i still want U find that the dream U've placed long time ago is still there.

to be honest, i havent really given a thought about it these days.

it's more like something unreal. something i once had, but only in pseudo realism.

HIV/aids day

today is internationally HIV-Aids day.

i just overheard this news while i was getting ready to go here:

on metro TV: "some students n young ppl are gathering around the HI area spreading n giving hiv-aids red ribbon n condoms to drivers, passerby, etc."

well, i cant help but think that it is a promotion to free-sex life style, isnt it??

i mean, spreading n giving condoms away to ppl doesnt necessaraly stop the what-seems-unstoppable growth of hiv/aids, rite??? or am i wrong???

give my stamina back again, will YOU?!

feels quite sick lately. feels like i'm not really ready to do anything as my head gets all this dizziness, as my stomach sores, as my brain is leaking out, n my eyes r not cooperating enough to stay alert "-)

whatta week!!!!!!!!

last week went on with schedules like this:

* in company trainings @ pjompongan [FinLog] & kuningan [TigaRaksa]
* in house trainings @ tomang [ci listi's place]
* public class @ Riec Gading [Kiomi's Group]
* education exibition @ Kelapa Gading Mall 2


WHATTA WEEK!!!

speechless

just want to say that i'm speechless.
speechless to grasp once again for the 57445759336th times that U r amazing "-O ...
speechless to learn that U r still waiting right at the last moment i left u...
speechless to be poured in Ur unconditional amazing love...
speechless to be transformed from lust-me-state into love-me-state...
speechless to find out again for the million times that it's not what i did, do, am doing and will do that save me... it's basically what U did...

NOTHING I DID/DO/AM DOING/WILL DO WILL EVER MAKE A DIFFERENCE ON HOW U LOVE ME...

I'm so damn speechless!!!!

sendal jogja g...

these thongs were my fav. i gave it to nanise from south africa as she was totally in love with them too :-)

3 bulan di aussie, ni sendal jepit jadi andalan u/ jalan kmana ja. n orang2, t'utama para bule suka takjub n komen gimana kotak n uniknya ni sendal.. cara yg bagus u/ buka pcakapan tho??? hehehehe

soaked blessed

tuesday o6.11.o7 @ 5:19 pm

@ KTC Foodcourt

a metalic square table with k'tel, yuni, nandis n me



the fact that they spent their time just to have this 2hour conversation melted n still melts my everything out.


i'm blessed with their presence.

i'm blessed to have them in my life.

i'm soaked blessed.

once again... FIDO.. forget it...Drive on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wil u??!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm driving on.... well, tepatnya... i'm walking on..

friday.o2.11.o7

central plaza
## floor
busway to dukuh atas1-p.genjing
the room

*****

i'm really sorry.. i know, it's the other million times i've been saying this word... this time, i dont even seem like i mean it...

i do. yet, i dont...

all i could say is:

sorry i couldnt stand it, Je...

imagine me

Artist : Kirk Franklin
Title : Imagine Me
Genre : R&B

Imagine me


loving wat I see when the mirror looksat me cuz I
I imagine me
In a place of no insecurities
And i'm finally happy cuz
I imagine me

Letting go of all of the ones who hurt me
cuz they never did deserve me
can you imagine me
Saying no to thoughts that try to control me
Remembering all you told me
Lord can you imagine me
over what ma mamma said
And healed from what my daddy did
And I wanna live and not read that page again

[Chorus:]
Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally finally I can...
Imagine me
I admit it was hard to see
You being in love with someone like me
but finally I can...
Imagine me

Being strong
And not letting people break me down
you won't get that joy this time around can you imagine me
In a world where nobody has t o live afraid
Because of your love fears gone away
Can you imagine me

[Bridge:]
Letting go of my past
And glad to have another chance
And my heart will dance
'Cause I don't have to read that page again

[Chorus x2]

[Vamp:]
Gone, gone, it's gone, all gone

forget it ... drive on

seems like i get stuck in the 26 zone with a guy called 4%@#e* sitting in the front seat with me. the trip has been rocky, slippery, dangerous...challenging indeed. so challenging that i lost myself along it.

the conversation along the way is the kind u would label "what-the-heck-is-anast-thinking of???"

i guess i need to drop him out from the ride. or, i am the one who need to take another ride. he doesnt seem like he wants to be out...



so, ANAST, u r the one who NEED to be out of the ride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Je, help me to walk out of the ride n let me find myself with u in the ride u've been offering me all along!!!!

Fin Log first timer

wake up 4.30 amget ready
bfast with a plate of tomatoes slices + a glass of super cold milo

ojek to central plaza
@risanda
n.. fin log entry for the 1st time

7 am - 9 amteach with U by my side all the time :-0

thx for a new exprience, Je...

every long journey is always started with a tiny little step

just like what i did today, i guess ...

iDin

meet iDiN

things IDiN liked to do for me:
well it's just quite hard to mention every sweet great things this little boy called IdiN had done for me.

in my effort to do so, here r some...

* made me laugh 'til i almost pee my pants out
* brought me some bags of guava fruit [a.k.a jambu batu merah] when i got diarrhea... it's not only one bag, mind u... it's 3 bags early in the morning just because i mentioned the day b4 that eating those fruit would make me feel better :-0
* made me run all over the hill just to catch, tease, n tickle him
* made me yell out his name when he pretended that he didnt hear me
* invited me over to have dinner in his cozzy warm cot
* immitated the way i talk just to get on my nerve
* tried his not-so best way to do all the exercises in the bimbel time
* followed my morning n afternoon aerobics moves
* became my knights-fighting partner
* played card n 'snakes n ladder' for hours
* danced in a way which always success in making me histerical
* made me laugh again...

the lasT watcHing film toGether niGhT

it was the very last nite i had in koal.

we were watching NarNia for the 7th times.

the children were still into it a lot.

well, i like their watching expression. their faces showed that they were so easily amazed.

remember being childlike...

this is the expression i want U to find in my face when U do something remarkable.. or when U do simple things in remarkable ways like U always do.

the children of Koal-lombok

meet rahman n rahmi...

the grandchildren of inaq Temin

the pics were taken 19 hours before i left koal.

waktu g motoin ni anak2 makan, inaq temin [their grandma] lagi didpur buat kolak singkong buat farewell party malemnya.

amaQ Lemu

on a phone conversation:
nandis: g tau napa lo suka ma keluarga amaq lemu..

g : knapa??

nandis : amaq lemu mirip bokap lo!!!

g : *smile* yup

well, this cheerful man is really the apple of my eyes among all those amaq [meaning: man] in koal. see, he looks like my dad in a lot ways.

i loved to come to his warm family just to hang out and crack jokes with them. he liked to come by to my cot in the middle of the day just to hang out with a glass of dark bitter coffee. even typing this blog with his smile in my head makes me smile...

his wife is as hip as him. just love this family..

be childlike

"unless u act like these children, u wont be able to see the kingdom of God"


meet my nephew in lewoleba.

looking through all the pics i made during my trip there, i found this one and couldnt help but feeling jelouse of the look of his eyes.

his eyes reflect all his curiousity of life--like he is ready to grasp whatever lies infront of him, reflects his hope, childlike, enthusiasm of life, innoncence, trueself... reflect all of the things i have been lacking lately.

i want to be found again in my childlike characteristic which U love n adore, JE.

when U look into my eyes, i want U to be pleased with what u see :-)

ready to step forward w/ u "-)

this week, i've been learning a lot in a high way.

it's just such a relief that i am still able to say that the second [in my case, the 5.023.527.496th chance] chance is still being offerred to me in an unbelievably glorious way, which is really beyond my wildest imagination.

homeland... sunset

wawa with the sunset

idin... k'anast kangen :-)

www.maxlucado.com – (UpWords Ministry) 1
By Max Lucado

IntroductionIt’s the end of the most significant week in the history of the world.
A week of final moments. Jesus and the apostles’ last meal together. The last time Jesus
prays in the Garden. The concluding confrontation with enemies. The final encounter with pain.
And the last event. . . a daring display of unleashed divine power. The entombed Savior
unbound by a holy explosion. What was a sepulcher is now a symbol…landmarking the greatest
victory in the most crucial battle.
A week of final moments. A week of endings.
Or is it the beginning. . . .?
www.maxlucado.com – (UpWords Ministry) 2

Chapter OneWhen I was a young boy I was part of a church corps which took communion to the shutins
and hospitalized. We visited those who were unable to come to church but still desired to
pray and partake of communion. I must have been ten or eleven years of age when we went to
one hospital room that housed an elderly gentleman who was very weak. He was asleep so we
tried to wake him. We couldn’t. We shook him, we spoke to him, we tapped him on the shoulder,
but we couldn’t stir him.
We hated to leave without performing our duty, but we didn’t know what to do.
One of the young guys with me observed that even though the man was asleep his mouth
was open. Why not? We said. So we prayed over the cracker and stuck a piece on his tongue.
Then we prayed over the grape juice and poured it down his mouth.
He never woke up.
Neither do many today. For some communion is a sleepy hour in which wafers are eaten
and juice is drunk and the soul never stirs. It wasn’t intended to be as such.
It was intended to be an I-can’t-believe-it’s-me-pinch-me-I’m-dreaming invitation to sit
at God’s table and be served by the King himself.
When you read Matthew’s account of the Last Supper, one incredible truth surfaces.
Jesus is the person behind it all. It was Jesus who selected the place, designated the time, and set
the meal in order. "The chosen time is near. I will have the Passover with my followers at your
house."1
And at the Supper, Jesus is not the guest, but the host. “And [Jesus] gave to the
disciples.” The subject of the verbs is the message of the event: “he took…he blessed…he
broke…he gave….”
And, at the Supper, Jesus is not the served, but the servant. It is Jesus who during the
supper put on the garb of a servant and washed the disciples’ feet.2
Jesus is the most active one at the table. Jesus is not portrayed as the one who reclines
and receives, but as the one who stands and gives.
1 Matthew 26:18
2 John 13:5
www.maxlucado.com – (UpWords Ministry) 3
He still does. The Lord’s Supper is a gift to you. The Lord’s Supper is a sacrament3, not a
sacrifice.4
Often, we think of the Supper as a performance, a time when we are on stage and God is
the audience. A ceremony in which we do the work and he does the watching. That’s not how it
was intended. If it was, Jesus would have taken his seat at the table and relaxed.5
That’s not what he did. He, instead, fulfilled his role as a rabbi by guiding his disciples
through the Passover. He fulfilled his role as a servant by washing their feet. And he fulfilled his
role as a Savior by granting them forgiveness of sins.
He was in charge. He was on center stage. He was the person behind and in the moment.
And he still is.
It is the Lord’s table you sit at. It is the Lord’s Supper you eat. Just as Jesus prayed for
disciples, Jesus begs God for us.6 When you are called to the table, it might be an emissary who
gives the letter, but it is Jesus who wrote it.
It is a Holy invitation. A sacred sacrament begging you to leave the chores of life and
enter his splendor.
He meets you at the table.
And when bread is broken, Christ breaks it. When the wine is poured, Christ pours it.
And when your burdens are lifted, it is because the King in the apron has drawn near.
Think about that the next time you go to the table.
One last thought.
3 A sacrament is a gift from the Lord to his people.
4 A sacrifice is a gift of the people to the Lord.
5 There are sacrificial moments during the Supper. We offer up prayers, confessions, and thanksgivings as sacrifice.
But they are sacrifices of thanksgiving as a salvation received, not sacrifices of service for a salvation desired. We
don’t say, “Look what I have done.” We instead, in awe, watch God and worship what he has done.
Both Luther and Calvin had strong convictions regarding the proper view of the Lord’s Supper.
“Out of the sacrament and testament of God, which ought to be a good guest received, they (the religious leaders)
have made up for themselves A good deed performed.” (Martin Luther, Luther’s Works American Edition, 36:49)
“He (Jesus) bids the disciples to take: He himself, therefore is the only one who offers. When the priests pretend
that they offer Christ in the Supper, they are starting from quite another source. What a wonderful case of topsyturvy,
that a mortal man to deserve the body of Christ should snatch himself to the role of offering it.” (John Calvin,
A Harmony of the Gospels, 1:133.)
6 Romans 8:34
www.maxlucado.com – (UpWords Ministry) 4
What happens on earth is just a warm-up for what will happen in heaven.7 So the next
time the messenger calls you to the table, drop what you are doing and go. Be blessed and be fed
and, most importantly, be sure you’re still eating at his table when he calls us home.

Chapter TwoIt's nearly midnight when they leave the upper room and descend through the streets of
the city. They pass the Lower Pool and exit the Fountain Gate and walk out of Jerusalem. The
roads are lined with the fires and tents of Passover pilgrims. Most are asleep, heavied with the
evening meal. Those still awake think little of the band of men walking the chalky road.
They pass through the valley and ascend the path which will take them to Gethsemane.
The road is steep so they stop to rest. Somewhere within the city walls the twelfth apostle darts
down a street. His feet have been washed by the man he will betray. His heart has been claimed
by the Evil One he has heard. He runs to find Caiaphas.
The final encounter of the battle has begun.
As Jesus looks at the city of Jerusalem, he sees what the disciples can’t. It is here, on the
outskirts of Jerusalem, that the battle will end. He sees the staging of Satan. He sees the dashing
of the demons. He sees the Evil One preparing for the final encounter. The enemy looks as a
spectre over the hour. Satan, the host of hatred, has seized the heart of Judas and whispered in
the ear of Caiaphas. Satan, the master of death, has opened the caverns and prepared to receive
the source of light.
Hell is breaking loose.
History records it as the battle of the Jews against Jesus. It wasn’t. It was a battle of God
against Satan.
And Jesus knew it. Jesus knew that before the war was over, he would be taken captive.
He knew that before victory would come defeat. He knew that before the throne would come the
cup. He knew that before the light of Sunday would come the blackness of Friday.
And he is afraid.
He turns and begins the final ascent into the garden. When he reaches the entry he stops
and turns his eyes toward his circle of friends. It will be the last time he sees them before they
7 Luke 12:37
www.maxlucado.com – (UpWords Ministry) 5
abandon him. He knows what they will do when the soldiers come. He knows their betrayal is
only minutes away.
But he doesn’t accuse. He doesn’t lecture. Instead, he prays. His last moments with his
disciples are in prayer. And the words he speaks are as eternal as the stars which hear them.
Imagine, for a moment, yourself in this situation. Your final hour with a son about to be
sent overseas. Your last moments with your dying spouse. One last visit with your parent. What
do you say? What do you do? What words do you choose?
It’s worth noting that Jesus chose prayer. He chose to pray for us. "I pray for these men.
But I am also praying for all people who will believe in me because of the teaching of these men.
Father, I pray that all people who believe in me can be one . . . I pray that these people can also
be one in us, so that the world will believe that you sent me."1
You need to note that in this final prayer, Jesus prayed for you. You need to underline in
red and highlight in yellow his love: "I am also praying for all people who believe in me because
of the teaching." That is you. As Jesus stepped into the garden, you were in his prayer. As Jesus
looked into heaven, you were in his vision. As Jesus dreamed of the day when we will be where
he is, he saw you there.
His final prayer was about you. His final pain was for you. His final passion was you.
He then turns, steps into the garden, and invites Peter, James, and John to come. He tells them
his soul is "overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," and begins to pray.
Never has he felt so alone. What must be done, only can he do. An angel can’t do it. No
angel has the power to break open hell’s gates. A man can’t do it. No man has the purity to
destroy sin’s claim. No force on earth can face the force of evil and win—except God.
"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak," Jesus confesses.
His humanity begged to be delivered from what his divinity could see. Jesus, the
carpenter, implores. Jesus, the man, peers into the dark pit and begs, "Can’t there be another
way?"
Did he know the answer before he asked the question? Did his human heart hope his
heavenly father had found another way? We don’t know. But we do know he asked to get out.
We do know he begged for an exit. We do know there was a time when if he could have, he
would have turned his head back on the whole mess and gone away.
But he couldn’t.
1 John 17:20-21
www.maxlucado.com – (UpWords Ministry) 6
He couldn’t because he saw you. Right there in the middle of a world which isn’t fair. He
saw you cast into a river of life which you didn’t request. He saw you betrayed by those you
love. He saw with a body which gets sick and a heart that grows weak.
He saw you in your own garden of gnarled trees and sleeping friends. He saw you staring
into the pit of your own failures and the mouth of your own grave.
He saw you in your Garden of Gethsemane—and he didn’t want you to be alone.
He wanted you to know that he has been there, too. He knows what it’s like to be plotted against.
He knows what it’s like to be confused. He knows what it’s like to be torn between two desires.
He knows what it’s like to smell the stench of Satan. And, perhaps most of all, he knows what
it’s like to beg God to change his mind and to hear God say so gently, but firmly, "No."
For that is what God said to Jesus. And Jesus accepts the answer. At some moment
during that midnight hour an angel of mercy comes over the weary body of the man in the
garden. As he stands, the anguish is gone from his eyes. His fist will clench no more. His heart
will fight no more.
The battle is won. You may have thought it was won on Golgotha. It wasn’t. The final
battle was won in Gethsemane. And the sign of conquest is Jesus at peace in the olive trees.
For it was in the garden that he made his decision. He would rather go to hell for you than
go to heaven without you.
www.maxlucado.com – (UpWords Ministry) 7

Chapter ThreeThe most famous trial in history is about to begin. The judge is short and patrician with
darting eyes and expensive clothes. His graying hair trimmed and face beardless. He is
apprehensive, nervous about being thrust into a decision he can’t avoid. Two soldiers lead him
down the stone stairs of the fortress into the broad courtyard. Shafts of morning sunlight stretch
across the stone floor.
As he enters, Syrian soldiers dressed in short togas yank themselves and their spears erect
and stair straight ahead. The floor on which they stand is a mosaic of broad, brown, smooth
rocks. On the floor are carved the games the soldiers play while awaiting the sentencing of the
prisoner.
But in the presence of the procurator, they don’t play.
A regal chair is placed on a landing five steps up from the floor. The magistrate ascends
and takes his seat. The accused is brought into the room and placed below him. A covey of robed
religious leaders follow, walk over to one side of the room, and stand.
Pilate looks at the lone figure.
"Doesn’t look like a Christ," he mutters.
Feet swollen and muddy. Hands tan. Knuckles lumpy.
Looks more like a laborer than a teacher. Looks even less like a trouble-maker.
One eye is black and swollen shut. The other looks at the floor. Lower lip split and
scabbed. Hair blood-matted to forehead. Arms and thighs streaked with crimson.
"Shall we remove the garment?" a soldier asks.
"No. It’s not necessary.
It’s obvious what the beating has done.
www.maxlucado.com – (UpWords Ministry) 8
"Are you the king of the Jews?"
For the first time, Jesus lifts his eyes. He doesn’t raise his head, but he lifts his eyes. He
peers at the procurator from beneath his brow. Pilate is surprised at the tone in Jesus’ voice.
"Those are your words."
Before Pilate can respond, the knot of Jewish leaders mock the accused from the side of
the courtroom.
"See, he has no respect."
"He stirs the people!"
"He claims to be king!"
Pilate doesn’t hear them. "Those are your words.” No defense. No explanation. No
panic. The Galilean is looking at the floor again.
Pilate looks at the Jewish leaders huddled in the corner across the court. Their insistence
angers him. The lashes aren’t enough. The mockery inadequate. Jealous, he wants to say to their
faces, but doesn’t. Jealous buzzards, the whole obstinate lot of you. Killing your own prophets.
Pilate wants to let Jesus go. Just give me a reason, he thinks, almost aloud. I’ll set you
free.
His thoughts are interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. A messenger leans and whispers.
Strange. Pilate’s wife has sent word not to get involved in the case. Something about a dream she
had.
Pilate walks back to his chair, sits, and stares at Jesus. "Even the gods are on your side?"
he states with no explanation.
He has sat in this chair before. It’s a curule seat: cobalt blue with thick, ornate legs. The
traditional seat of decision. By sitting on it Pilate transforms any room or street into a courtroom.
It is from here he renders his decisions.
How many times has he sat here? How many stories has he heard? How many pleas has
he received? How many wide eyes have stared at him, pleading for mercy, begging for acquittal?
But the eyes of this Nazarene are calm, silent. They don’t scream. They don’t dart. Pilate
searches them for anxiety. . . for anger. He doesn’t find it. What he finds him makes him shift
again.
www.maxlucado.com – (UpWords Ministry) 9
He’s not angry with me. He's not afraid . . .he seems to understand.
Pilate is correct in his observation. Jesus is not afraid. He is not angry. He is not on the
verge of panic. For he is not surprised. Jesus knows his hour and the hour has come.
Pilate is correct in his curiosity. Where, if Jesus is a leader, are his followers? What, if he
is the Messiah, does he intend to do? Why, if he is a teacher, are the religious leaders so angry at
him?
Pilate is also correct in his question. "What should I do with Jesus, the one called
Christ?"1
Perhaps you, like Pilate, are curious about this one called Jesus. You, like Pilate, are
puzzled by his claims and stirred by his passions. You have heard the stories: God descending
the stars, cocooning in flesh, placing a stake of truth in the globe. You, like Pilate, have heard the
others speak; now you would like for him to speak.
What do you do with a man who claims to be God, yet hates religion? What do you do
with a man who calls himself the Savior, yet condemns systems? What do you do with a man
who knows the place and time of his death, yet goes there anyway?
Pilate’s question is yours. "What will I do with this man, Jesus?"
You have two choices.
You can reject him. That is an option. You can, as have many, decide that the idea of God
becoming a carpenter is too bizarre—and walk away.
Or you can accept him. You can journey with him. You can listen for his voice amidst the
hundreds of voices and follow him. Pilate could have. He heard many voices that day—he could
have heard Christ’s. Had Pilate chosen to respond to his bruised Messiah, his story would have
been different.
Pilate vacillates. He is a puppy hearing two voices. He steps toward one, then stops, and
steps toward the other. Four times he tries to free Jesus, and four times he is swayed otherwise.
He tries to give the people Barabbas; but they want Jesus. He sends Jesus to the whipping post;
they want him sent to Golgotha. He states he finds nothing against this man; they accuse Pilate of
violating the law. Pilate, afraid of who Jesus might be, tries one final time to release him; the
Jews accuse him of betraying Caesar.
So many voices. The voice of compromise. The voice of expedience. The voice of
politics. The voice of conscience.
1 Matthew 27:22
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And the soft firm voice of Christ. "The only power you have over me is the power given
to you by God."2
Jesus’ voice is distinct. Unique. He doesn’t cajole or plead. He just states the case.
Pilate thought he could avoid making a choice. He washed his hands of Jesus. He
climbed on the fence and sat down.
But in not making a choice, Pilate made a choice.
Rather than ask for God’s grace, he asked for a howl. Rather than invite Jesus to stay, he
sent him away. Rather than hear Christ’s voice, he heard the voice of the people.
Legend has it that Pilate’s wife became a believer. And legend has it that Pilate’s eternal
home is a mountain lake where he daily surfaces, still plunging his hands into the water seeking
forgiveness. Forever trying to wash away his guilt . . . not for the evil he did, but for the kindness
he didn’t do.
2 John 18:34
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Chapter FourLord?
Yes.
I may be stepping out of line by saying this, but I need to tell you something that has been
on my mind.
Go ahead.
I don’t like this verse: "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?" It doesn’t
sound like you; it doesn’t sound like something you would say.
Usually I love it when you speak. I listen when you speak. I imagine the power of your
voice, the thunder of your commands, the dynamism in your dictates. That’s what I like to hear.
Remember the creation song you sang into the soundless eternity? Ah, now that’s you.
That was the act of a God!
And when you ordained the waves to splash and they roared, when you declared that the
stars be flung and they flew, when you proclaimed that life be alive and it all began? . . . Or the
whisper of breath into the clay-baked Adam? That was you at your best. That’s the way I like to
hear you. That’s the voice I love to hear.
That’s why I don’t like this verse. Is that really you speaking? Are those words yours? Is
that actually your voice? The voice which enflamed a bush, split a sea, and sent fire from
heaven?
But this time your voice is different.
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Look at the sentence. There is a "why" at the beginning and a question mark at the end.
You don’t ask questions.
What happened to the exclamation point? That’s your trademark. That’s your signature
closing. The mark as tall and strong as the words which precede it.
It’s at the end of your command to Lazarus: "Come out!"1
It’s there as you exorcise the demons: "Go!"2
It stands as courageously as you do as you walk on waters and tell the followers: "Have
courage!"3
Your words deserve an exclamation point. They are the cymbal clash of the finale, the
cannon shot of victory, the thunder of conquering chariots.
Your verbs form cannons and ignite disciples. Speak, God! You are the exclamation
point of life itself. . .
So, why the question mark hovering at the end of your words? Frail. Bent and bowed.
Stooped as if weary. Would that you would straighten it. Stretch it. Make it stand tall.
And as long as I’m shooting straight with you—I don’t like to see the word abandon,
either. The source of life . . . abandoned? The giver of love. . , alone? The father of all. . .
isolated?
Come on. Surely you don’t mean it. Could deity feel abandoned?
Could we change the sentence a bit? Not much. Just the verb.
What would you suggest?
How about challenge? "My God, my God, why did you challenge me?"
Isn’t that better? Now we can applaud. Now we can lift banners for your dedication. Now
we can explain it to our children. It makes sense now. You see, that makes you a hero. A hero.
History is full of heroes.
And who is a hero but one who survives a challenge.
1 John 11:43
2 Matthew 8:32
3 John 19:11
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Or, if that’s not acceptable, I have another one. Why not afflict? "My God, my God, why
did you afflict me?" Yes, that’s it. Now you are a martyr, taking a stand for truth. A patriot,
pierced by evil. A noble soldier who took the sword all the way to the hilt; bloody and beaten,
but victorious.
Afflicted is much better than abandoned. You are a martyr. Right up there with Patrick
Henry and Abraham Lincoln.
You are God, Jesus! You couldn’t be abandoned. You couldn’t be left alone.
You couldn’t be deserted in your most painful moment.
Abandonment. That is the punishment for a criminal. Abandonment. That is the suffering
borne by the most evil. Abandonment. That’s for the vile—not for you. Not you, the King of
Kings. Not you, the Beginning and the End. Not you, the One Unborn. After all, didn’t John call
you Lamb of God?
What a name! That’s who you are. The spotless, unblemished Lamb of God. I can hear
John say the words. I can see him lift his eyes. I can see him smile and point to you and proclaim
loud enough for all of Jordan to hear, "Behold the Lamb of God. . .”
And before he finishes his sentence, all eyes turn to you. Young, tan, robust. Broad
shoulders and strong arms.
"Behold the Lamb of God. . .”
Do you like that verse?
I sure do. God. It’s one of my favorites. It’s you.
What about the second part of it?
Hmmm, let me see if I remember. "Behold the Lamb of God who has come to take away
the sins of the world."4 Is that it, God?
That’s it. Think about what the Lamb of God came to do.
"Who has come to take away the sins of the world." Wait a minute. "To take away the
sins. . ." I’d never thought about those words.
I’d read them but never thought about them. I thought you just, I don’t know, sent sin
away. Banished it. I thought you’d just stood in front of the mountains of our sins and told them
to be gone. Just like you did to the demons. Just like you did to the hypocrites in the temple.
I just thought you commanded the evil out. I never noticed that you took it out. It never
occurred to me that you actually touched it—worse still that it touched you.
4 John 1:29
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That must have been a terrible moment. I know what it’s like to be touched by sin. I
know what it’s like to smell the stench of that stuff. Remember what I used to be like? Before I
knew you, I wallowed in that mire. I didn’t just touch sin, I loved it. I drank it. I danced with it. I
was in the middle of it.
But why am I telling you? You remember. You were the one who saw me. You were the
one who found me. I was lonely. I was afraid. Remember? "Why? Why me? Why has all this
hurt happened?"
I know it wasn’t much of a question. It wasn’t the right question. But it was all I knew to
ask. You see, God, I felt so confused. So desolate. Sin will do that to you. Sin leaves you
shipwrecked, orphaned, adrift, aban—
Oh. My goodness, God. Is that what happened? You mean sin did the same to you that it
did to me?
I’m sorry. Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t understand. You really were alone,
weren’t you?
Your question was real, wasn’t it, Jesus? You really were afraid. You really were alone.
Just like I was. Only, I deserved it. You didn’t.
Forgive me, I spoke out of turn.
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Chapter Five“So what should I do with Jesus?"
Pilate asked it first, but we’ve all asked it since.
It’s a fair question. A necessary question. What do you do with such a man? He called
himself God, but wore the clothes of a man. He called himself the Messiah, but never marshaled
an army. He was regarded as king, but his only crown was of thorns. People revered him as
regal, yet his only robe was stitched with mockery.
Small wonder Pilate was puzzled. How do you explain such a man?
One way is to take a walk. His walk. His final walk. Follow his steps. Stand in his
shadow. From Jericho to Jerusalem. From the temple to the garden. From the garden to the trial.
From Pilate’s palace to Golgotha’s cross. Watch him walk—angrily to the temple, wearily into
Gethsemane, painfully up the Via Dolorosa. And powerfully out of the vacated tomb.
As you witness his walk, reflect on your own, for all of us have our own walk to
Jerusalem. Our own path through hollow religion. Our own journey down the narrow path of
rejection. And each of us, like Pilate, must cast a verdict on Jesus.
Pilate heard the voice of the people and left Jesus to walk the road alone.
Will we?
I hope that permanently planted in your soul is the moment the Father stirred you in the
darkness and led you down the path to freedom. It’s a memory like no other. For when he sets
you free, you are free indeed.
Can I tell you my story?
A Bible class in a small West Texas town. I don’t know what was more remarkable, that
a teacher was trying to teach the book of Romans to a group of ten-year-olds or that I remember
what he said.
The classroom was mid-sized, one of a dozen or so in a small church. My desk had
carving on it and gum under it. Twenty or so others were in the room, though only four or five
were taken.
We all sat at the back, too sophisticated to appear interested. Starched jeans. High-topped
tennis shoes. It was summer and the slow-setting sun cast the window in gold.
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The teacher was an earnest man. I can still see his flattop, his belly bulging from beneath
his coat that he doesn’t even try to button. His tie stops midway down his chest. He has a black
mole on his forehead, a soft voice, and a kind smile. Though he is hopelessly out of touch with
the kids of 1965, he doesn’t know it.
His notes are stacked on a podium underneath a heavy black Bible. His back is turned to
us and his jacket goes up and down his beltline as he writes on the board. He speaks with
genuine passion. He is not a dramatic man, but tonight he is fervent.
God only knows why I heard him that night. His text was Romans chapter six. The
blackboard was littered with long words and diagrams. Somewhere in the process of describing
how Jesus went into the tomb and came back out, it happened. The jewel of grace was lifted and
turned so I could see it from a new angle... and it stole my breath.
I didn’t see a moral code. I didn’t see a church. I didn’t see the ten commandments or
hellish demons. I saw my Father enter my dark night, awaken me from my slumber, and gently
guide me—no, carry me—to freedom.
I said nothing to my teacher. I said nothing to my friends. I’m not sure I even said
anything to God. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. But for all I didn’t know
there was one fact of which I was absolutely sure, I wanted to be with him.
I told my father I was ready to give my life to God. He thought I was too young to make
the decision. He asked what I knew. I told him Jesus was in heaven and I wanted to be with him.
And for my dad, that was enough.
To this day I wonder if my love has ever been as pure as it was that first hour. I long for
the certainty of my adorning faith. Had you told me that Jesus was in hell, I would have agreed
to go. Public confession and baptism came naturally for me.
You see, when your Father comes to deliver you from bondage, you don’t ask questions;
you obey instructions. You take his hand. You walk the path. You leave bondage behind. And
you never, never forget.
I pray you never forget your walk or his: Jesus’ final walk from Jericho to Jerusalem. For
it was this walk that promised you freedom.
His final walk through the temple of Jerusalem. For it was on this walk that he denounced
hollow religion.
His final walk to the Mount of Olives. For it was there he promised to return and take you
home.
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And his final walk from Pilate’s palace to Golgotha’s cross. Bare, bloody feet struggling
up a stony narrow path. But just as vivid as the pain of the beam across his raw back is his vision
of you and him walking together.
He could see the hour he would come into your life, into your dark cabin to stir you out
of your sleep and guide you to freedom.
But the walk isn’t over. The journey isn’t complete. There is one more walk that must be
made.
"I will come back," he promised. And to prove it he ripped in two the temple curtain and
split open the doors of death. He will come back.
"The one who has redeemed us has returned!" we will cry.
And the journey will end and we will take our seats at his feast. . . forever.
See you at the table.
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19.1o.o7

central plaza building
macdy seats at the corner right in front of the TV
under busway BenHil halter stop

uppss i did it again
i guess i'm not that innoncence [do i write this word correctly?? guess not]

confession day

yuni
k'tel
nandis
ndut

i'm totally blessed with these ppl i called best buddies.


still, i'm sorry, JE

soaked in forgiveness n mercy

15.10.o7 monday

ur will vs mine
my lust vs yours
evil vs good
coming vs going
yes vs no

sorry to ignore u

sorry to go my way instead of urs

homeland ppl

some from the homeland :-)

the journey to homeland...

-co-driver angkot dikupang who was being nice taking me home for free-


-wawa and edu... they look like they r twins or what??!!!!-


-di deket ni pante ada paddee cafe yg kaya di bali, btw, this is the most crowded n beautiful beach in kupang called Koepang Beach-

still on the journey to homeland--the kids

-in the stomach action after spending 2 hours in the beach n eating rite away after that-